I cannot win
I am destroyed.
Built back up
Then recked again like a stack of bricks.
I am suffering.
Can you tell?
I know you see it.
My mood shifting hour  to hour.
Dont ask me if im okay.
I nevr asked for you to pretend like you care.
Dont ask me what i want to do
Because honestly
I wanna  run far away.
Dont treat me like i matter
We both know i dont
you've  shown me that
I am suffering.
Is it  that hard to see?
I write  to ease my mind
But it ends  up ignighting flames.
I have a storm in my heart.
Anger due to loneliness.
Whats wrong with  me?
Why doesnt anyone love me
(Or if  they  do, tell me)
???
Tell me why the **** i am this way.
Why is  everyone  happy but me.
I want change
That's  not over my horizon,  is it?
Why am i always alone.
Alone is a captive audience.
Listening to my disparity   just to matter
To someone.
My tears run  dry.
Then  streak down
Because they  were forgotten.
What if i told you there  was no tomorrow for me.
*** someone help this kid.
Because suicidal thoughts are the telling point of need for help.
Are you ******* kidding me?!?!
You should know i need help from the day you notice bruises.
Not  by the day i say i want to end it all.

Mom told me she'd  be there till the end.
But the day she found out her son had severe depression,
It was like she left him completely.
I wish she could see im gone already.
Her little boy,
Her little Zachary
Has died.
The day she overlooked dad's aggression, i was left motherless.
Her son needs help.
I need help.
So i write.
And you read.
The process we've  done so many times before.
Forgive me,
Im struggling.
I know you see it.
*so,
Whats next