It was so long ago when I believed I could not survive losing you, that I could not go one day without seeing you. Years ago that I realized my heart would crack and decay into lumps of dry ash at your absence.

But we talk about loss as if it happens only once. "If I lost you". Wouldn't it be amazing to have lost you only once ?

I did lose you once. And again. And again. I've lost you a thousand times since then.

I lost you the morning after you left, when I woke up alone. I lost you a month later when I found your sweater. I lost you again a moment later when I realized it still smelled like you. I lost you when my family said your name, and I lost you again when they asked about how you were.

It's been 8 months, and I still lose you.

Wouldn't it be nice, to have lost you only once?