I felt invisible today
How I dance around words and refuse to inch towards my door
How words fall onto my lap, only to be wiped away by my shaking hands

I felt lonely today
How best friends make pinky swears and how all I can keep safe is the gold cross on my neck
I pray to him and ask, God, let me love again

I felt.. Sad;
The kind of sadness that rolls over in bed ever so often
But will never leave
The one that despite my tugging at the feet
Only sinks even deeper into my being

But most of all
I felt nothing
I didn't feel the breeze as I tiptoed my way into being what my Mother calls 'normal'
Or the hot water I envied, how amazing it would be
To simply
Just
Evaporate.