Soon I'll be far away again the lapping shores the only thing keeping me from you but you should know that I would swim oceans for you even if it was just to see a glimpse of those blue mischievous eyes always the most beautiful in the setting city sun How will I live knowing I won't awake with you entwined around me?
Where do the hours go? With you I'm always losing track of time I'm at your whim Have I ever told you that I'm crazy? That I'm a little bit deranged?
Baby I'm losing my mind Sweetheart It's something about the way you laugh at stupid things and make jokes just to hear a room beat with laughter Your voice turns to a hum when I look at you sometimes realizations like lighting striking me when you fall asleep arm across my stomach like you're afraid I'll leave because I've told you before how I learned from my mother how to run and I'd been doing it ever since I realized boys stared at my waist not ever listening to my words as I try to explain myself ****** hands hidden behind my back like a broken vase
My father told me that I was too beautiful for my own good eyes alive like the sky at dawn the first morning you didn't sleep hair wild as I slow down to look at the view and he always got angry when I did that stopped dead to stare at the fading pink light of a day coming to an end You don't get angry you just stop and look at me with the same gaze I give that setting sun and I swear out of the corner of my misted eyes I see you smile run your fingers through your hair as you wonder what I'm thinking and I've always been afraid afraid that in the moments I spend with you that you realize that you see that I'm thinking of one thing only you and I stare at the street lamps far below a little longer tempting you to find out how much I really love you to come closer and ask me what runs through my aching heart but you keep your distance I wonder if you just know that later when my speech is clouded I'll say it as I always do in the early hours of the morning smoking out my deepest secret like trying to coax a ghost
I wish your lips weren't so protective holding in lovesick notes even when drinking the clearest false securities and she wants us to go far away and when you express how fond you are of her company she looks down everyday I see her I realize how similar we are twin stories of mismatched fears and wanderlust does she know about the way I claw at your skin as if looking for a way in bruised ribcage under lust stained sheets she used to eye me like I was a panther inching closer irises daring her kin to set me off but I'm no time bomb and I think she sees that now
I'll always remember the time I realized I loved you the first time, at least it was too quick to know and I was far too invested as you watched me glare at you past branches only to fall asleep with my hair tangled in your fingers hours later does time pass differently to you when I'm asleep next to your waist? fluttering eylashes onto your knees like tiny dancers I wonder if you ever notice the soft skin peaking under my shirt and sigh thinking about how you'd long to slowly take off my clothes in the dark teeth hitting bare skin of my collarbone as if I'm prey you've finally caught
I think of endings a year in advance I always have, as if everything is terminal the second I say "I love you" maybe that's why I don't say it maybe I just assume with every lost memory I discover like a shipwreck and ever passing whisper I recall you see how entranced I am my whole existence has bits of you like gems within it or possibly they all encompassed you already and the paint hadn't chipped enough to reveal you yet
When you're sad you sing songs to me about Venice and the way your mother used to wear her hair to her shoulders orange milky light stained every window like melted gelato and you wondered if you'd ever find a girl who's heart was Murano all lit up in the night like a summer sweet dream when the air is hot and everyone's cheeks are a little red their hair curly from the salty spray of the sea you'd mark her neck until it looked winestained
but you appear so sad when you tell me these stories a faraway look in your vacant mind
I could be your merlot skinned girl I can have eyes like the italian hills rolling into the horizon always having you search for the tallest one Let me be your Venice Let me be your home