I used to be so caught up with the thought that
my worthiness is measured by how many people love me, or think i'm pretty.
Maybe that's why I try to make them fall in love with me and make them feel vulnerable.
I love having that power over someone because the more they tell me they love me,
the more drunk I get with the feeling of being worthy.
But no matter how much I get high with their love,
it does not fill the gaping void in my heart and soul.
I think that's why no matter how many I love you's roll out my tongue, it does not feel as real to me at the end.
But I've come to realization that it's okay if nobody loves me, or maybe nobody will ever love me.
Maybe that's not the point.
**Maybe it's not about being loved by somebody else.