Once again, I am terrified of how I feel.
These thoughts are foreign to me.
My whole life, I was told it was wrong.
So then why is it in my mind?

I never understood how this worked...
But now I do.
It's just like how it is for everyone else,
Except a little bit switched.

I know I'm not all the way there,
I doubt I ever will be.
But...
I don't know...

I mean...
My best friend,
But is that all that's there?
Or more on my part?

I don't know what's going on.
I'm confused and scared,
Of my family... My church...
Society...

But none of it compares to the fear,
That if it gets out,
She won't understand. Or worse...
That she will feel the same...