Apr 2016
I step onto the stage,
the bright spotlights making my eyes water,
the rows and rows and rows of seats making my mentality waver,
the judges with their eyes penetrating me like icicles.
Their emotionless faces making me doubt myself and what I'm here for.
The palms of my hands are drenched and clammy,
I almost drop my-
oh, I forgot what I'm doing.
Whycan'tImoveI'mstuckIneedtoplayohgodthejudgesarestaringatmewhatdoIdoIcan'tbreatheI'mgoingtomessupI'mafailure
I
need
to
breathe.
Slowly inhale in,
S
l
o
w
l
y
exhale out.
I can do this.
The violin's shoulder rest takes its place,
I inhale,
I exhale,
and I begin.
the bright spotlights making my eyes water,
the rows and rows and rows of seats making my mentality waver,
the judges with their eyes penetrating me like icicles.
Their emotionless faces making me doubt myself and what I'm here for.
The palms of my hands are drenched and clammy,
I almost drop my-
oh, I forgot what I'm doing.
Whycan'tImoveI'mstuckIneedtoplayohgodthejudgesarestaringatmewhatdoIdoIcan'tbreatheI'mgoingtomessupI'mafailure
I
need
to
breathe.
Slowly inhale in,
S
l
o
w
l
y
exhale out.
I can do this.
The violin's shoulder rest takes its place,
I inhale,
I exhale,
and I begin.
I wanted to continue this but I didn't want to make is a novel so I'll continue it in the next poem I type. This is about my experience with anxiety and performing for others.
