And I keep going back and forth inside my head
Of all the things you said and did
And I wonder if this is what I want again?
Am I just setting myself up for more hurt?
When all I ever wanted from you was tenderness and honesty
But you can't ignore who someone really is
I am blindsided and uncourageous
I want a you who is not you who could never be you the you I made up
The you I loved and love  
Now I understand that you were only ever a ghost
I can't touch I can't reach I can't hold