I am not the one you would expect
I am not the one you dream of,

For I cannot love properly,
cannot breathe properly without him

Those beautiful times, first love's touch
and first love's burning pain

I am not the one you think I am
I am not the one you think I could be

I am the one who is a ghost in a living body,
blood still pumping through my veins

To no avail, my heart ceased to function,
when you stopped loving me

I am the least of everyone's expectations,
the least of what I could be

But you loved me for that, and made my blood
boil and my heart pump it through my intoxicated veins

You made my blood go to my rotting flesh,
but in the end it ran out of my wrists

In my sleep I still see you, still feel you,
and it's so wrong

But when I see you in my alcohol induced slumber,
It makes me miss you a little less

I wake afterward with puffy eyes,
and the oh so familiar, bitter taste,

Of those memories,
and the sweet smell of your skin,

That she now smells,
the one who was better than me

The one who lived up to her expectations,
and to yours

Everyone says it wasn't my doing,
but loving you was the worst mistake Ive ever made