"Idle hands are the devils play thing."
Ive come to realize that as soon as my mind finds a moment of boredom I fall into this pit of sorrows from the past.
I know it won't last but I look to find something fast.
The last time this happened I became someone I didnt recognize.
A person no one should Idolize.  
Someone that follows me around,
waiting to make me hell bound.
He doesn't know she exist and ill never tell.
But it wont be long before he sees I am not well.
I hear the warning signs in my heart as I walk up to you.
Theyre so loud.
I hate how this makes me sound.
There is a side to me that I pray you never see.
She is self destructive and its more contagious than you think.
Its more than just having a drink.
Its looking for that little white line that relieves her guilt while also adding to it.
I am not meant for you, my love.  
Just as my first-love was not meant for me.