The more I think about it
The more I put it off
The more I realize that you were just a distraction
That your love was just a reaction
That I could wake up tomorrow and leave as you make ****** coffee in our tiny kitchen whose tiles are chipped because we threw that party and your friend got drunk and busted them with a steak knife
We laughed about it later
But I think it was scary
And that’s how it always was
We could laugh it off and call them good times
but when I showered and the water was cold and sent icepricks down my spine and numbed the bruises from your hands was when I knew
you couldn’t change
I stuck around a little longer because I thought you made me happy
and I thought that /without you/
I was nothing more than an empty shell
A fragile frame filled with childish hopes and dreams
A girl who wanted to grow into a woman but she couldn’t
Not while she was with you
I packed my bags last night and I left the apartment while you were showering
I’m going back to my parents’ house and I’m going to figure out what I’m doing
and then maybe that girl can get her life straightened into a long highway instead of the crumbling sidewalk she once shared with you