we were spectacular
at least, i thought we were.
when you left me, all of my happiness was eradicated.
i am left with nothing but my own thoughts
my nightmares.

no one understands this pain.
you made happiness look easy
it was easy.
now, wherever i go, i always end up at your house.
when i walk out my front door, i see a world better off without me in it
my life only has potential once it's over.

in my dreams, you spit up apologies like fire.
i close my eyes and i see you coming back to me
you always come back.
i wake up, and for a split second, i feel euphoric
like i'm walking on air
and all of a sudden, i am in my bed alone.
it's like a reverse sigh of relief.
you're gone and you're not coming back and i know that
i ******* know that.
so i don't understand why i keep wishing on a star that has already burned out.

this pain is
astronomical
j.c.