I wish I could tell you what is in my head.
Not just the emotions but the stream of words I never said.
“**** this ****,” and “**** it all.”
“Go to Hell,” and “You’re an *******.”
Sometimes to the people walking down the street.
Often to my family sitting watching television.
But mostly to myself when I’m looking  in a mirror.
To myself though, I say the words out loud.
I also include, “I should just die.”