How to begin such a unforgiving time.
A time where mother dearest was never home.
A time father drank four bottles of Strawberry flavored *** a night to forget the times back in the desert.
A time where my sister never spoke to me, didn't know where to find me.
A time my brother sexually harassed me for months at a time.
A time I dragged a cold  jagged thin piece of rusted metal across my thighs.
But
What about the good times?
Times where Mom called me first.
Or when dad spent time with only me.
Even when my sister came to visit me on her birthday.
Maybe even the days my brother and I stayed up playing video games.
And maybe that time I-

Downed a bottle of pills.
Spent 4 weeks in a recovery center only to be shipped to Philadelphia for further treatment.
Or when I thought I fell in love for the first time with the boy who wasn't quite a man.

There's times where I still wake up not wanting to get out of bed but I do. and that means maybe not today or tomorrow I will make good times with myself.