I’m going to solve my problems
By fixing you!
That sounds like the perfect thing
For me to do.
Life would be fine for me if you
Did not insist
On carrying on all the time and
Getting me ******.

You keep on ignoring me when I
Tell you what to do.
Everything would go just right.
It’s up to you.
Do what things like I tell you to
It’s best for you.
You never manage things as
Well as I do.

I’m amazingly organized and
You are not.
You haven’t the gift for it like
I have got.
You’d just mess things all up
For me to fix.
I’m not stupid, you know, I’m
Onto your tricks.

You get the wrong thing because
You did not hear
What I was saying went in and
Out of your ear.
Things always need to be done
A certain way.
And they would be if you would just
Recall all I say.

I swear I don’t know what you’d do
Without me.
You’d turn into some kind of major
Chaos factory.
We’re much better off if you just
Do as you’re told.
This petty bullheadedness is
Getting rather old.

Because all that is wrong with me
Is the stuff you do.
I would be a success story if it
Wasn’t for you.
You manage to ***** things up by
Not following rules.
Nothing would ever get built without
The proper tools.

But things will get better soon,
I promise you that,
Because a hot new slugger has come
Up to bat.
I’m taking over everything so
You just lean back.
In no time at all I’ll have your life
Right back on track.