I don't want your annoying apologies or to hear your fake excuses anymore. I don't want your sorry eyes and charming devilish smile near me.

I don't want to fall in love with you again and again to be let down again and again. I don't want this chaotic, messy relationship anymore.

I always have believed that love should be messy. That it should be so overwhelming with passion and desire it drives you mad. That you should cry and smile and laugh with someone in the worst and best situations.

But I've now experienced the chaos.
I've had the pleasure of crying when you wouldn't talk to me for months for no reason.
I've had the pleasure of smiling when you decided that it was time to apologize again and draw me back in.
I've had the pleasure in laughing at myself for being an idiot and laughing at you for allowing yourself to say what you said.

And in all of this... I've decided...

***** the chaos.
I still want the passion and the romance but whoever said it should be messy to be real was an idiot.