"You save me from myself."

Every time something goes wrong
I know I have You to count on.
This is more than beautiful words
This more than a beautiful song
This is more than just a day at church
More than speaking in tongues.
This is so much more than any act of
Prophesy
I hope you can see
That.

This more than life.
This is more than logic.
This is more than I can ever hope to
Articulate or explain
For how can I express Your glory
When my lips are not holy enough
And my mind not pure enough
To speak or know Your name?

How can I expect to be
Expect to do all that You have called me to?
How can I expect to be perfect like You?
How can I?
You have made everything anew
But once I get in the way of things
Everything goes askew.

Though I struggle and try
And most days simply succumb
How is it possible that You can
Save me from myself over and over again?
I never understood what a wretched man
That I am
Until I tried to live for You truly.

You knew me from before I was in my mother's
Womb
And you know exactly what day I will be
Laid to rest in a tomb.
Yet I still find it hard to trust You
When You take away certain people or things
Or when You instruct me.
I can't see past the pain or my desire
I can't see past my inherent need for control
For success
Yet
What is success without You?
What is love without You?
What is happiness without You?
What am I without You?

Sometimes I feel like abandoning You
But how can I after all You took me
Through?
How can I?
Two things am I sure of
Your love
And that I will die.
Yet why can't I allow myself to
Accept the love You give?
I just don't deserve it
But I need it.

You are the breath I breathe
How I stand when my knees
Buckle.
You are sunlight
You are bright
You are dazzling
You are my life.

Though I may run from that simple truth
I'll always find my way back to You.

What a paradox is this
An imperfect miss
With a perfect God
Called but uncalled to Him
Afraid to let a love
She craves and needs in.