I have been so mind numbingly lost between the static in this room that I've forgotten what your voice felt like. searching for the promises you buried in your pillow before I try to get out of bed every morning, I've forgotten what your hands sounded like. but, like broken glass on soft feet I walked recklessly into a fight I could never win with you. you were always stubborn and selfish. I spent years searching for reasons you couldn't love me in boys that swore they did and only ever came up with me loving you too much. I loved you too much I suffocated you with 3am drunken phone calls and 6am good morning texts. I loved you too much with surprise lunches and coffees when you're home alone. I loved you too much with poems and songs that have your name written on every page. I have been so whole heartedly consumed in your dark eyes I forgot how light your hair looks in the sun. I sold the devil my soul knowing damn well you never wanted me at all. but god knows I will always fucking want you.