my feet dangle by the edge of the rooftop and i am terrified that i have every ounce of courage slowly building up inside of me my soles still sting from the glass shards that sliced my knuckles open and it was odd how my mind exclusively focused on my feet and not the hands that engaged into combat with my reflection my hair is in the way, quickly growing into the nuisance it will always be it tastes of cheap shampoo, cigarettes, fumes and yesterday's drug abuse but let me tell you this, i do not do drugs but the cuts on my fingers, and the dirt under my nails, will tell you that i do it was just a misunderstanding, a punch to the face, a jaw i thought would dislocate, and tears swelling up, obstructed by a lip bite away i am not clean, i can show you my wrists as proof and more on my arms to gain your sorry's and mercy but i do not want attention it's funny since i'm the one seated at the edge of the rooftop, the top floor, the 22nd and i am trying to capture the entire city by a single look, including my peripheral vision trying to picture, the edges of the photograph it will be but my hair is in the way, and i can barely see so i pretend to perceive the scenery yet attempt to not disregard the words i think they speak their sounds start to appear as turbid as a puddle of mud and yet everyone looks happy enough from up here
i grow eager by the second thoughts do not outstretch and remain abrupt as my legs suspend high up from the ground and i hope to stay irrelevant as my fingers slip from the concrete and my wrists twist toward the wind
i will not think of my last words until i am close enough to outline the features on their faces, and trace the roads that are lining up with vehicles, boarded with individuals who will not see me until i am scattered on the pavement