My life.
Ive been threw A lot.
Everyone has their fare share of pain delt to them.
Ive been a victim of more than one **** case.
I have seen things you should never see.
I have watched friend be murdered..
I have watched friends **** them self in front of me.
I have lived in hell.
With seeing things i wish i never saw.
I did start to become suicidal.
After a while.
I wondered why the had to go but i was still here to live a life i thought i didnt want.
I would write, and no one would read them.
I felt as if i didnt exsist.
I felt invisible.
My parents became more distant.
I had became very depressed.
I had seen a lot of people die.
It unfortunate yes.
I cried a lot.
A lot of tears had fallen.
I had been well "messed up".
I have gone threw so much pain.
I dont know how to deal with it at times.
Certain words make me start freaking out.
The way someone touches me can make me freak out insanely.
I barely trust anyone now.
The one person i trusted died june 16th.
I had held his wrist until he begged me to let go.
So i did.
It seems selfish of me to let go of him.
But i loved him way to much to see him in so much pain.
Now.
I still have the one person i'd run to,i'd cry on,i'd go to for everything.
But their still sad.
And i am trying to be happy.
Trying to act like nothing happened.
Because thats how i work..
But its hard to act happy.
If the one person that means so dearly much to you.
Is stuck in sadness.
How do you become happy?