With my hands folded and my mascara smeared onto my cheek,
I wait
I spend sleepless nights waiting for you;
Waiting for you to come to me with a smile on your face and a blanket in your arms, saying you are going to stay
But the blanket is filled with betrayel and sadness
Sadness that will morph around my caccoon of skin, and engrave into my bones like a tattoo
And I will still love you
I will want you to love me back, but the only love I get from you is flashbacks on things that were never real
And I miss it
I miss the times when I could hold your hand and the image of your smile in my brain forever
But that smile was sinester and I fell for the devil
I don't believe in the devil, so I tried to get rid of you
But you were my first love, and you are inside the lining of my heart for God knows how long
And that's really ironic, because god has showed me things that make me know he's not really showing me things, and that he is just as fake as your love
And I am okay with this
Because I will be okay
Even when my heart beats, with what never was