I remember you,
In the winter,  3am all those years ago.
It was freezing in the abandoned lot.
The cold iron barrel on your temple.

When you pulled the trigger,
There was no pulling through.
No grand victory over demons.
Just confusion in the lives you touched.

When you pulled the trigger,
Graduation didn't come.
College letters piled at the door.
Friends got a funeral instead of a party.

When you pulled the trigger,
You would never meet new friends
Inspiring them, nor be the shoulder old ones
Leaned on, empty feelings swelling.

When you pulled the trigger,
Your lover to be, lost herself.
The daughter was never born.
You never got to hear how you were her hero.

I remember that night,
Seared into my memories.
Of a champion, who wiped away the tears,
Said to himself no more.
Went home to his family who loved him.
Made life happen, and conquered
The depths of his own hell.