deep in the pond of unhappy, swimming, drowning the next contemporaneous depression thought quickly swallowed, desperation in quick glances everywhere, dawn is no consolation but just another daily drawing tighter of twine cutting disillusionment
dear god, commences every thought, delayed answers have yet to arrive, **** the deity's non-responsivness, dare not say out loud lest, deserved fates be worse, be realized, didn't know? how can that be? disguiser par excellent, I am the original deceiver
But I never think about
death or dying, for that would be defeat finale, a statute to, a status of none, a destiny some wick spark, still insists can be deferred
differed always, diffidently, but grasping yet at the double entendre that is my dark vision of a future already past