I knew exactly who my husband was going to be
In 6th grade
Daniel Radcliffe star of harry potter
Heart throb of all tweens
We definitely were destined
He was my first true love
One I prayed for every day

Yet as I grew up
Puberty changed things
Love changed
He was now skinnier
Indian
And got beat up a lot
Love needed my protection against bullies
But could always blow my mind with new music
Love wasn't the smooth talker his brother was
And was too shy to hold my hand
But made a permanent seat for me in his soul
Board exams ended and love left me

Only to surprise me once again
Love was fairer now
More childish than before
Love's hair was shinier than my own
And knew none of my 80s songs
Love taught me to doodle
And found pleasure in small pranks
Love never took anything seriously
And always had time to show off

With another round of board exams
I deserted love this time
The pain of being the other one
Far to great to bear
Far greater to forgive

Soon enough it was time for college
As I walked into class full of nervous excitement
There sat love on the first bench
The newest version
A skeleton of the past
Filled with new words and strokes as cover
Love was more different now
Quieter than before
Preferring the company of nature than those he ****** called his own
Love was sweet and thoughtful
But could never open up his heart
Love knew where this was going
But ran away from it in fear

And so love stayed away
For almost two years
Lust slowly tried to take its place
Stealing bits I only saved for love
But I banished it away
Its dark presence my once insecure heart no longer needed

And finally
Just like that
Love stepped in once again
In an avatar I'd never seen before
I almost didn't recognise love
As it stood before me
Scars and happy memories mixed in his tears of insecurity
Love wasn't strong enough
And always needed my assurance and trust
Love was the smartest man I knew
Whose loved verbal bouts dripped in sarcasm
Yet love managed to save my soul
From the depths of dark evil
Pulling me out ****** into the sunlight where we lay naked
Healing our broken pasts
Love contradicted me in every way
His emotions and affections a conflicting paradox I couldn't untangle
But in the end love, could not handle emotions
Love walked away dumping all his promises into the sea with the remains of our friendship

And I realised
I did not know what love truly was
It came and went in so many different forms
Never the same
Never the boring
It walked in the door arms filled with happiness and possibilities
And walked back out soon enough
Leaving a cold silence behind

Love is a contradiction
Of everything we believe in
Remoulding our perspectives
Like a soft ball of clay
It breaks and rebuilds us
With every fated visit
Destroying and creating newer versions
Of ourselves
Stronger versions of ourselves

Maybe this is what love was destined to be
A teacher for our souls
A soothing balm for our wounds
A definite spark to our courage
And an infinite universe for our imagination