You really want to know what happened to me? What broke me?

I fell in love with my best friend.

I fell in love with him,
and despite the ample opportunities to tell him...
I was never brave enough.

His actions and words both showed me that he didn't see me that way
so I got scared.

He moved 1,490 miles away and I was too scared
to tell him how deeply that I loved him.

Him leaving left me with a void that I have been trying to fill since.
I eagerly tried replacing him and the emotion he gave me.

But no one has stuck around long enough to let me.

I had plenty of moments where I thought
"this could be it, I'm happy".

Happiness fades.

People stop putting in effort.
Nothing lasts forever.

So what happened to me?
I loved.
I trusted.
I lived.

So if I'm distant, pessimistic, cold-hearted, or lifeless..
there's a reason.

Stick around, you might see.