did you know
that heartbreak can actually **** you?
i don’t mean suicide,
even though that is true and terrible as well.
i mean that there is actual, physical pain from heartbreak.
it is a stress induced apparent heart attack, but it is not a heart attack.
i thank you for not breaking my heart.
you hurt me, yes,
past, present, and maybe even future pain
is expected to move in from your general direction.
i am preparing for that possibility.
i think about my grandmother though,
who was with my grandfather before the war, and after for a brief moment,
who married another man,
who raised two children with that man,
who divorced her husband for a mutual lack of being “in love”,
and who finally married my grandfather.
there was no lack of being “in love” for them,
but when he died,
she carried on.
she did not allow the absence of a loved one to pull her from this world.
both of my great grandmothers are still alive, decades after their husbands passed away.

the women of my line are made of steel.
we are pretty, we are delicate,
we are smart, we are clever with our words,
and we endure.  
we are strong.  we survive.

so i will rely on the strength of my mothers
and i will not let the pain i feel distract me from who i am
or what i want to do.
i will be strong like my grandmothers.
when i feel the heartbreak,
i will let it hurt, and i will move on.

the women of my line are made of steel.

so am i.