**** did he have a smile i used to always tell him to stop smirking at me and i don’t think he understood why i did, but every time his smile lit up every time every time he smirked when i said something to him  every time his eyes lit up like a christmas tree the crinkles in his cheeks made this perfect pattern.I fell more in love with him  
he was  beautiful.
he told me he never cared about me and it took me a while but i found out i was gonna be okay with it because you change for the ones you love. I fought loving you for a while because at the time i wasn’t even sure i knew how to love someone anymore after last time but ******* did he  teach me. Everytime he called me, every time he calmed me down when no one else could even make me flinch
every time he helped fix me no matter what it was he could make me smile and i think i slowly forgot how to fix myself because i had him and i thought that he'd always be there i mean that was what he had promised wasn’t it? I lost all self reliance but i felt safe  And when he left I tried to get over him by just being with random people but their lips never made me actually feel anything; not once did they send shivers down my spine and i never go to bed smiling anymore, and not once did i care when they left finding out i wasn’t ready to be with anyone after him. He was easily my favorite mistake and even though he’s  gone from my life I’m glad we had talked that night and tragically enough i wouldn’t take it back for anything