Yeah. That's me. That's that first layer, thin as the paper you could read it on. Just a Jane Doe, a nameless, faceless demographic.
But peeling back the layers, ripping through page on page of a complicated novel, digging down into a bottomless hole to China, unravelling the intricate web of stereotypestruthsliesassumptionsprejudice and there you will find me, a colorless genderless asexual spirit whose frame is crafted and molded not with how the world chooses to see me and who "they" deem me to be;
no.
A guy that didn't know me well once told me that I spoke more urban than he expected, and I couldn't help but wonder why someone from an urban area couldn't speak like they were from a city, like somehow what he saw in my whitefemaleheterosexualmiddleclassagnosticlibertarian prologue forbade me from speaking in colloquials and abbreviations. Oh, I apologize, I laughed later to my friend, law students are supposed to speak with an ostentatious vocabulary and an heir of (superfluous) arrogance.
I am rarely a prototype of what it means to be White, of what it means to be female; middle-class* or not, my parents insisted at age 8 that I begin to understand the value of a dollar; my sexuality indicates little about my level of attraction to the world around me; agnostic is really just a term I put because I'm still trying to figure out whether I really believe everything I was forced to learn at Catholic school; and isn't Libertarian just a fancy word for I don't want to choose liberal or conservative?
It's insulting to ingest how much is insinuated about my depth in the shallowest of pools. My cheeks burn hot with frustration as I try to balance on a beam cracking underneath the weight of a world that is constantly begging me to go back in the neatly wrapped package from which the world would prefer I came.
I'm not someone you can put in a ******* box and label; you can't contain my shine behind blackout blinds; I will burst out of your bubble and break your glass ceilings; I will scream at the top of my lungs in a soundproof room until you HEAR me.
I'm not meant to be judged by my cover, and neither are you.