I'm in trouble...
I've been in trouble from the start.
The moment you climbed into the ***** seat of my car you peaked my interest.
And in that single moment, when your eyes met mine in the rear view mirror, you stole a sliver of my heart.
From then on I knew my life would change; I gained the only light capable of making this black hole of darkness easier to escape from.

You were the light house beacon and I the tiny weathered boat searching for the shore.

Alas you made excuses as to why we couldn't be together and my darkness continues to swallow me, but you still remained my beacon.

I guess I just realized I always loved you.
I was always in love with you, but now it's more clear.
Especially since you are not here.
I'm afraid. I'm terrified in fact.
Is it finally our turn?
No, I guess not.
I still have to play this ******* waiting game, like I have been for 6 years.
I've become fluent in this game.
What's one more year?
7 is supposed to be a luck number, right?

Maybe I'm just bullshitting myself

You've broken my heart before, but we didn't really recall.
We had teenage angst,
Drugs,
Music and
Art to distract us.
Now it's the real world, and this is very real darling.
I'm terrified.
I don't want to scare you with the truth but, hell, I'm scarring myself quite frankly.

Just old feelings dancing with new ones...

When in reality they've been the same feelings all along just amplified 1000 watts, because it's almost our time.
What's one more ******* year?

I need to take a step back.
More like five.
I do this all the time.
I dive and drown.
But we've dipped our toes in the water before..

*You are forever my always