All my life I’ve wondered What in the world put me here? And when the colors glide together I must lean back from what I see to get a better look The vivid edges show me what time has really done with my rain-filled skies and happy smiles What movement has Created from my birth and what change has had me realize The events multiply into a saga of choices and things beyond my reach When pondering my achievements I remember the simple moments, choosing to be cordial and the lasting seals I’ve left on this place If just one indefinite thing lives longer than I do it’s been worth it And even at my pessimistic peak, I know that if my most horrible deeds have been coming into possession of someone else’s pen and having too much of a good thing- words, lips, and candy- I’ve done more good than bad But though I try to pull my slack in my stronger moments I can’t quite tauten the string of happenstances Mine. However, this necessitation teaches me to use my greatest abilities the first time and I’ve learned too much to be forced to ponder slighter things for long It is just the most important questions of this life that cause me to sit and wonder like the reason I am a pawn of the world a servant of God ballet is beautiful but a wordless story seems to leave one wanting something more and when I’m gone I need for there to be tastes of my spirit in vision and mind contentment to replace the ordinary dissatisfaction my trunk can grow tall but if only a spattering of leaves grow from branches not reaching vary far what is the point of growing for so long yet if I’ve taught children to look deeper than crust and see core without having to search surely I’ve achieved a perfect score if I’ve molded minds towards fondness of justice I’ve implanted a sound instinct and I hope you’ll always trust it if I’ve shown anyone that a full life is gained by simply not discounting anything I’ve been competent toward my goal. Why come closer when I can hear everything here and when stress turns it all awry and impossible all one has to do is acquire realization that success is achieved solely by keeping the fire going another day being about to see all of the junctures one can overlook even the teeth-gritting occasions can be turned over onto a smoother side and I think most happenings of life are beautiful a tiny boy wondrously tugging soft twists the night’s skies under a girl’s eyes from drowning in pages the previous night putting paint on your nails and orange peels over your teeth colorful shoes and chocolate cake and a first kiss on your 14th birthday, even being too scared to ride or mourning a dog’s death or getting fired for standing up to a cruel boss holding it too long and fights over basketball because each and every commodity should open your eyes to the fact the you are alive (you pick the situations you stay in for the most part and you have the power to make change) and I hope you see that living is not living with no risk every minute is worth it and nothing happens without reason I want you to see that my confidence of a full life comes from every moment that made it up and that my life’s greatest regret is that I don’t remember every day in it.
Notes, criticism, thoughts, please. The part in parenthesis I want to change. This poem was inspired by my great-grandmother’s 95th birthday. I was thinking about what it would be like to look back on life after that long, and this is what stemmed from those thoughts