There are a million ways
To begin an apology
But nothing is as honest
As admitting
“I ****** up."

Now I’m sleeping on a twin bed
Unable to move on without you
A fist in my mouth
So I can't say I'm sorry
Without breaking my teeth.

You had a raccoon’s grip
On this relationship
And you held on
Even though it killed you
But I’m a practiced martyr
Trained in your guilty pleasures

You called me at 2 in the morning
To say I love you
So please don't hurt yourself tonight
And please
******* eat something
So we go
Every time I'm losing it
You're losing me

You asked if this would be the day
You’d finally have the strength to walk away
If this would be the day
I’d leave my room.

And you're staring at me
I woke up screaming
I can't hear myself but I see you moving
Like something's wrong
With your hands on my shoulders and whispering
I wish I could be your skin
So I could let you feel sunlight
And protect you from yourself
I will wear all of your misery
So you can see what it's doing to me.

I've got your concern wrapped around me
A 2 AM Tourniquet
Then you left
And I am sleeping on a twin bed
With no room for apologies
Or for you
To sleep beside me.