dear Kaela,

in a couple days it'll have been 7 years since you died. i think of you often. I wonder what you would be doing right now. how would our lives be different if you were still here? i like to think that you would be doing something to help others, or helping animals, because that is what you always did. you helped people. but most of all when i think of you, i think of your smile, and how you helped people to be happy, just by being yourself.

last saturday i was teaching swim lessons. as one of my lessons finished up, the next ones tumbled through the door, bundled up in jackets and scarves. once in her bathing suit, the girl looked at me. i wasn't paying too much attention at first. besides with a cap and goggles on its hard to tell what the kids look like sometimes. but at the end, when the eye protection and hair covering came off. I just stared. "high five," i said holding up my hand, my eyes darting all over her face. because standing right there in front of me was a five year old version of you.

ever since that moment, i can't help but think that, that little girl is you. Kaela, you loved life so much, and you lived every moment to its fullest, and then it was so awfully taken from you. in the past year, i've struggled so much with wanting to end it all. but i know this little girl who smiled so bright, so proud of the fact that she could make me happy just by swimming well, this little girl is you Kaela, reminding me to live my life to the fullest. to love the life i've been given. to keep on going.

thank you kaela for reminding me to keep going. i love you. i miss you. i hope you are happy. rest in peace<3

your dear friend,
erin