Jan 2015
It's 12:23 am and my sister comes knocking on my door.
At first I couldn't hear a thing
The fear through her eyes was so loud, it muted the world.
Logic sinked into my brain to listen
And I wish I hadn't.
"Mom's not waking up!" She cries.
Over
And over
Over
And over.
My feet are on the floor, pushing me out of the room.
I'm blinded by the lights-
The sudden wake.
I'm deafened by my fathers shouts,
"Gabe, wake up!"
Within seconds I'm beside him.
Speech has been slipped from me, but he looks into my eyes.
"She's not waking up."
No matter how many times I'm going to hear it tonight
I won't believe it.
"Help me," he says.
And I push him aside.
He shouldn't be here.
He shouldn't see this.
I kneel down to the bed
Her eyes closed
Mouth agape.
Pale.
She looks dead.
I was convinced she was dead.
Now I'm angry.
Who does she think she is?
I told her to stop,
"Mom, stop. This drinking problem you have needs to stop."
It never did.
She never listened.
Now look what she has done.
I slap her.
Right across the face.
I shout for mom, searching for it in her face.
Looking for the qualities
That make her the one who conceived me.
I find nothing.
And I slap her again.
My sister is in the corner of the room
With my brother,
All older than me.
All crying.
My father is beside me trying to keep his rock but
Even the most innocent plates inevitably reach an earthquake.
My other brother comes running upstairs
Dauntless as he thinks he is.
The ambulance is on its way.
She's leaving.
I slap her again.
Seconds later I'm pushed aside.
Help is here.
Then their in the room-
Touching her
Inserting her with unfathomable things.
Then one man lifts her hand
Right over her face,
As if it were a feather and he lets go.
But feathers are graceful and beautiful
My mothers hand
The one that now has lost the touch to ever gain back comfort on me again, drops like a brick.
A brick full of all her lies and all her pathetic ruthlessness, falls on her face.
They take her out of the room, still unconscious.
That was the last time I ever saw my mother,
Even though she's still alive and with me today.
At first I couldn't hear a thing
The fear through her eyes was so loud, it muted the world.
Logic sinked into my brain to listen
And I wish I hadn't.
"Mom's not waking up!" She cries.
Over
And over
Over
And over.
My feet are on the floor, pushing me out of the room.
I'm blinded by the lights-
The sudden wake.
I'm deafened by my fathers shouts,
"Gabe, wake up!"
Within seconds I'm beside him.
Speech has been slipped from me, but he looks into my eyes.
"She's not waking up."
No matter how many times I'm going to hear it tonight
I won't believe it.
"Help me," he says.
And I push him aside.
He shouldn't be here.
He shouldn't see this.
I kneel down to the bed
Her eyes closed
Mouth agape.
Pale.
She looks dead.
I was convinced she was dead.
Now I'm angry.
Who does she think she is?
I told her to stop,
"Mom, stop. This drinking problem you have needs to stop."
It never did.
She never listened.
Now look what she has done.
I slap her.
Right across the face.
I shout for mom, searching for it in her face.
Looking for the qualities
That make her the one who conceived me.
I find nothing.
And I slap her again.
My sister is in the corner of the room
With my brother,
All older than me.
All crying.
My father is beside me trying to keep his rock but
Even the most innocent plates inevitably reach an earthquake.
My other brother comes running upstairs
Dauntless as he thinks he is.
The ambulance is on its way.
She's leaving.
I slap her again.
Seconds later I'm pushed aside.
Help is here.
Then their in the room-
Touching her
Inserting her with unfathomable things.
Then one man lifts her hand
Right over her face,
As if it were a feather and he lets go.
But feathers are graceful and beautiful
My mothers hand
The one that now has lost the touch to ever gain back comfort on me again, drops like a brick.
A brick full of all her lies and all her pathetic ruthlessness, falls on her face.
They take her out of the room, still unconscious.
That was the last time I ever saw my mother,
Even though she's still alive and with me today.
