Wiped out and broken inside,
I've been defiled.
'Tis there nothing that can remove this violation from my stained corpse?
It's doomed to be my own little secret forever,
And even if I never tell, it shall never be undone.
She took me.
She stole my innocence and I'm supposed to be ok with it.
But when I finally worked up the courage to reach out to someone,
They blamed me.
How dare I ever do something like that,
E v e r .
As if it were my fault, I began to spiral.
Socially I was never the same,
She ripped my body and soul in half.
My brain in pieces,
And my heart in shambles, I thought she was my friend.
From then and on I trusted no man,
God forbid another woman.
It was supposed to feel good is what she kept telling me,
That it wouldn't hurt,
That it'd be alright.
But she lied.
It was everything but alright, because we didn't have sex,
She raped me.
She lied to me about everything.
She promised me she wouldn't put me in danger
That she wouldn't turn her back on me,
That we were like family.
I cried a little that night in the shower, scrubbing off the horror.
It's been almost a year and I can still feel the betrayal underneath my skin.
I still feel the lies and the soul-shattering sensation of her riding.
Every time she rode me,
I died inside more and more by the minute,
And now she's had her baby and thinks I should meet him and be his godfather.
She wants M E to be the godfather.
Why? I'm already his father.
And besides, I don't want anything to do with that monstrosity.
But I'll do it,
I'll be what she wants me to be,
because I can't stand the thought of that kid growing up to be anything like her.