the festive music kept playing on repeat
never seeming to see an end
as i buried my face in the bedsheets,
i couldn't help but want the entire world to go away.

in short, i spent my christmas crying
wishing only for you again

i knew i'd made a mistake, letting you leave
i just wanted another chance.

and, you know?

the only gift i gave myself
was the carving of your name onto my own body
reminding myself
that you never really left.