there is life beneath the surface
beyond what we can see.
i sink,
holding my breath.
my eyes clamped shut,
afraid of what might be found.
i do not want to fall
but i do not want to rise, either.
i am small in comparison to it's vastness,
it's significance.
it is a never-ending chasm,
and my feet blindly search for the bottom
as the darkness swallows me whole.
when i open my eyes,
i can see a narrow tunnel of light
gathered at the surface in the distance,
sparkling.
the sea is a torrent,
and comfort is found in it's constance,
it's strength,
it's ability to **** off our fragile souls
until nothing is left but a shell.
i do not want to leave.
but my lungs,
they need air
now.
i want to breathe
i do not want to sink any further.
and i am fighting
kicking
not ready to give in.
i am being pulled down by a monster
who looks like me,
coming out from the depths of the water.
and there is no longer wonder and mystery
in the darkness.
i wrench my body away from it's claws
still bound by the weight of it's grip,
and i am tired
worn
but unwilling to stop moving toward the light
until i rush to the surface,
emerging out of the water,
fear pumping through my veins.
there is a moment of waiting,
calm,
before it becomes clear that
the storm is over.
i am alive.
i am free.

-j.m.