everyone assumes the worst of me
my family and my friends
i hear all of the insults
and cry until it ends

i really do try sometimes
but really there's no point
they'll just assume the worst
so i just light another joint

they never try to see my side
they don't really care
but they're poisoning my soul
until there's nothing there

sure i've made a few mistakes
and then i get the blame for theirs
everything is my fault
is there anyone who cares?

i lay in bed whenever i'm home
just to stay away
my soul can take no more
not another day

I'm a wreck, ma
A mess

                                  Alone

and depressed
There are people all around
And there is a smile on my face
But no one heard my cries
No one had seen the pain in my eyes

Everything looks like greyscale
With a twist of red
                                            Red.

It was only on me, ma
My whole body
Was   b r o k e n    and damaged
There were marks everywhere
Small cuts
                             Where the red came from
Does no one still see?

I'm standing on a busy street, ma
Trying to scream
But everyone just walks by
I feel my lungs filling up
      I'm
           d
               r
                  o
                     w
                  n
                i
            n
        g
But everyone around me is breathing

I'm up on a building now, ma
Holding my breath
I'll jump, ma
Do you hear me now?
Are you listening?
Can you understand?
Huh, ma?
I can't hear you.


                          It's too late now, ma
I'm gone.

I'm staring up at the clouds now
People are rushing to my side
Is this all it takes?

"This child must have slipped"
                     No ma'am
I seeked your attention
I wanted someone to listen
I needed your help long ago
And you didn't care

"They were a good friend"
Wait who are you
We've never talked
Suddenly everyone is sad
How come?
Well, ma
I've been sad for a long time
How come you didn't notice earlier?

It's funny when you're not a 'pretty face'
Because then no one cares until you're dead
But then you are pretty
And now everyone cares.

But I'm sorry, ma
You are too late
You should've noticed earlier
Good bye, ma
I'm happier now
                            *Not by your side

I spend most of my time
Locked away in my room
Writing metaphors that could never be
As beautiful as you

I try to catch your eye
With my words
But they could never do you justice
So I know this'll never work
But I keep trying

I try to capture your beauty
Using only thoughts that come to my mind
I know you find it hard to trust me
I don't blame you
Almost everything I say is a lie

I try to twist my own words
But I end up just twisting my tongue
And though I know it'll hurt
I try my hardest to be someone
That you could trust

And I
Wanna make you smile
But I don't know how
And I
Wanna stop lying
To your face
But I can't get a single truth out

Everything I say is a lie

I'm tired of giving away
Pieces of myself like
Free samples.

I sit on a swing
Unstable and free
I slide through the air
No one notices me

I sit on a swing
With a noose on my neck
The seat falls out
My life was a wreck

They put up a swing
To remember me by
The swing never swings
Their act was a lie

The tree crushed the swing
They cut that ***** down
My memory is gone
But my ghost is around

Hey you
can you be pure
can you  be true ?
can you stay the way you are
Cause you're cute
when you let go
of all pretenses
And all the hidden agendas
Just be real with all your senses
To what your feeling right here right now with me
surrender

Cause you're cute

you're cute  

I wanna tell you how cute you are

Boys don't like girls like me

Boys don't like girls
With frizzy hair
And red velvet tongues

Boys don't like girls
Who wear heavy boots
And leather jackets a size too big
With pins pushed through the fabric
Declaring their beliefs
Like picket signs

Boys don't like girls
With outie belly buttons

Boys don't like girls
Who shop in the men's section
At thrift stores

Boys don't like girls
Who shut themselves in ivory towers
And refuse to let down their hair
Because they're too afraid

Boys don't like girls
Who talk to plants

Boys don't like girls
Who pick the pickles off
Of their cheeseburger because
They believe its the best part
And you always save the best for last

Boys don't like girls
Who carry trauma on their backs like boulders

Boys don't like girls
Who don't know how to kiss
Without leaving
Blood stains on your lips

Boys don't like girls
Who write love poems for themselves

Who practice archery and witchcraft
Because it makes them feel stronger

Who dance in their kitchen
To the music of popping popcorn

Who shy away from touch
Because to them it feels like acid

Who have stretch marks and cellulite

Who'd rather stay at home with the dog
Than go to that party

Who have ice in their soul

Boys don't like girls like me
And I'm trying to be ok with that