after all my feelings
of being hurt
and broken
feeling like i'm
all alone
after weeping
in my bedroom
no one knows or cares
after all i have been through
i finally don't feel a thing
i am beginning to feel numb

An empty carcass,
beaten to death.
Left for dead,
in the concrete streets.

Cracked and all dried up,
it follows the breeze,
like autumn leaves,
dead and yet dancing.

The ground will open someday,
swallow you whole.
The sky is black as coal,
your soul will wither.

Like the carcass, you will die,
rise from your sleep,
deep underground,
but for now you suffer sin.

When I die
Do I find
All  my lost things?

I always ask myself questions:
am I good enough?
do I really have potential?
does anyone actually care?
why do I feel so displaced?
It's upsetting; knowing that I'll probably never have the answers I'm looking for.
But, I guess it's meant to be that way.
Whether or not it's for better or worse, I'll never find out.
These questions I have are the offspring of my doubt.
I'm trying my best to keep these feelings of disappointment and stress at bay.
But every time I try to speak; I find myself searching for the words to say.

It leaves
Then it comes back
It haunts me
I forget about it
It's still there
It does not exist
Yet it is my greatest fear

The monsters in my head
That I call fear, jealousy and insecurities
They are ghosts that should have died
Lingering and following me around

They make this puzzle so complex
Though I am almost finished
And already holding the last piece
Why am I searching for other pieces
to complete the missing space,
when the answer is already in my hands?
And all I have to do is to place it down

And what seemed like an easy jigsaw
Becomes a stage performance
And I am the actor with only one line
The monsters, they scream
They try to taunt me
I struggle to fight back
But I see them in the crowds
And what seemed like one line
Felt like a dictionary I had to memorize
And I mess up
And the monsters have won
They always find a way to take over me