It’s late and I’m alone again
I’ll try to write a poem again
But I don’t know how successful you’re going to be
It’s up to me to breathe the life into your heart,
My little friend

So I’ll tell you how I spent my day
Because you’ll hear the things I say
While all of my peers are far away

I played tag with spiders on the floor
As cobwebs above my attic door
Drifted in a breeze that came from nowhere I could see
Floated in the breath of some being I couldn’t see

When the arachnid came too close
To the shadows that encroached
My thoughts turned towards the sighing ghost
And Halloween came 7 months too early
In my fog filled head

So I’ll give an October air about you
Purely for the sake of being un-seasonal
Written in the spring when you should be written in the fall

Who sees orange leaves in almost April?
Who else smells evil in the air?
Who can feel the whispering maple
Playing with your windswept hair?
Can you see the goblin sleeping in its secret lair,
My little friend?

That’s the place where I wanna be
Out in the open with the trees
So I can let my soul run free
With my imagination in its grasp

Instead I’m still here in this room
Air smelling like a different doom
Cut off from the grinning moon
A prisoner in this painted womb

But outside is unseasonably cold
This winter weather is too old
The frost outside is far too bold
And I can’t lie, I am distressed,
My little friend

Distressed is better than depressed
Too bad today I’m both I guess
Because I’m too alone at best
Angry and obsessed at worst
For simply someone to converse
And share the thoughts I have rehearsed
But I’m left within the dust to brood and thirst,
My little friend

I feel abandoned and annoyed
At how easy I am to avoid
Like a fool, a ******* toy
I’m feeling cruel,
My little friend

I can’t keep waiting for warm weather
It’s been coming for a month too long
And the place where I’ll feel better
Will only make me feel more wrong
With plants still dead and freezing soil
With no birds to give it song

So I’ll keep you close at heart
And keep waiting to be happier
And waiting on that smile I lost somewhere along the way

Today you’re my piece of Halloween
You’re a fragile memory
You’re a grinning, growling, gleaming jack-o-lantern
I carved out of nothing with my voice
And etched into the computer screen

I tried to breathe the life of another season
From this spring air and into you
But I think I failed somewhere along the way today
And let you down just like my friends have done to me
So the least that I can do is nothing, but I will thank you
And wish you were a human being
Instead a poem just listening

Oh, my hearts been ripped apart
way too many times
and, in vain, I try to fix it
with these worthless rhymes

So I'll take whats left of it
and stuff it with insane
sew it together with pain
and patch the holes with shame

I'll never admit to feeling angry
or when I feel a little too alone
even when I'm just completely empty
and I'm lost in my own home

This was never going anywhere
so I'll just ******* run away
away from here, away from her
and from all else I won't say

Because I feel too ******* angry
and I feel completely alone
its even painful to be empty
****** trapped by my own home

Here's another patch of self-pity
and another spool of hate
my needle turned into a syringe
my patchwork heart won't wait

And I don't feel like going anywhere
I'm too tired to go out and play
I'll stay in with my sewing project
and end its painful pulse today

Because my hearts been ripped to shreds
one too many ******* times
now I won't even try and fix it
why should I even try to rhyme?

during these few short months,
i have done things i never even thought of,
or could even see myself doing

for example, one weekend,
back home from college, i had learned that
my parents took a local newspaper
delivery job

the job consists of:
picking up the papers
organizing the things for the most efficient route
and driving around very late at night when no one else is awake to deliver them
we fill those newspaper racks that i didn't even know still existed
other than that, we rarely have to get out of the car
it's kinda neat

i'm a paper boy

one night, my dad and i took the papers out a 4 in the morning
after just staying awake and watching television in the living room
and we haven't been on good terms for about the last year of my life
not talking very much, just being quiet, alone,
and listening to country music on the radio,
we drove through my childhood town
where i grew up and where he hates
where we both hate
where we're both
just tired

it was like it was abandoned
we only saw three cars the whole trip
in a town that has a bit of a traffic problem

it felt like everyone was dead
it felt like everyone had vanished
or had run away from some cataclysmic event
but forgot to tell us

and time felt so slow
then, he complimented my driving

then, i just wished i could've
told him that i love him
what's wrong
with me?

months after my surgery i caved in
and finally went to physical therapy
i didn't think i needed it

and all i can remember
about that quiet little room
is getting turned on by that old lady
as she massaged my broken hand
with lotion and everything

So I find myself standing here
Hundreds of miles from home
With my thoughts akin to fear
And once more, I feel alone

Oh, I miss her far too much
On lonesome nights that should not be
I need only her breath, her touch
She soothes me like the sea

But I must stare at endless blue
A horizon much too long
I'm lost at sea with naught to do
For my swimming skills aren't strong

The waves breathe deeply on the sand
The gulls, they chant her name
I still feel her softness on my hands
Sun, please burn her image in my brain

Far beyond sand castle spires
Titanics slumber, dream and sigh
The treasures other men admire
Dissolve in her blue eyes

The waves will take me back to shore
Or drag me farther out to sea
It barely matters anymore
When the beach is so **** lonely

Water creeps into my nose
I feel like drifting off to sleep
Surrender my breath to Davey Jones
And blind eyed horrors of the deep

Now, I shall dream of only peaceful things
While the Sun burns me to a crisp
I must ignore where it still stings
The spot she last touched my lips

I'll forever miss her more than land
But the oyster hides the pearl
And won't open in my withered hand
While I'm anchored in this world

May the hurricanes and whirlpools
Drag me down to rest
For while in life I was a fool
But in sad dreams I am her best

It's been raining since I woke up at 2:30 in the afternoon
I can hear it throughout this empty house, in this empty room
I've been here all day, it's 3:53(AM) now
Literally all day, and I'm thinking "wow…"
The only person I've seen at all today was my mother
Well, Mrs. Internet, at least we have each other

I can't even find a job
I have nothing to do with myself
I didn't take a shower this morning
And I must've masturbated like 5 hundred times
My mouth is fuzzy and I only taste sour
I feel like a piece of subhuman slime
Wearing red sweats and a ***** tank top
Still having crust under my eyes from when I woke up
It's a good thing I guess, lack of human interaction
I'm like a corpse in a chair, just less attraction
And my friends are all busy so we can't get together
I couldn't even go outside to enjoy sunny weather

Thank God for my pets, and you, Internet

Only two people chatted with me..... briefly
There's a fine line between insanity and imagination
Same thing goes for boredom and relaxation
When I count a day in facebook notifications
So, I'm kinda depressed, goodbye motivation
I'm a complete failure concerning human relations
I need some elation to ease this frustration
Something other than even more *******
Like a car filled with babes and a freeing sensation
Or a trek through the woods and across the nation
Devoid of people who sympathize with my situation
Which is long overdue for complete termination
Of this trepidation moving towards desperation
As I'm slowly coming to the awful realization
That I'm a complete loser… congratulations
I can't even write a poem worth your admiration
So I guess you won't save me from this isolation

Even Runescape is boring me to tears
Please, Ms. Internet, that's the worst of my fears
That even you'll abandon me, don't drop me off here
In this empty house, back in this empty room
Which is becoming more and more like a tomb
Because I'm feeling more and more like I'm dead
Are your viruses viruses? Have they actually spread?
Out of your motherboard and into my head

I'm blacking out and losing long lapses of time
I think I'm out, time to end this troubled rhyme
But you know I'll still be here, dead eyes on blue screens
Mouth as sour as before, clothes still unclean
Browsing through pictures of strangers and what they have to show
Not being able to tell if time is moving too fast or too slow
Headaches have grown, are growing, and they'll grow, grow, and grow
And I'm ******* again, just thought you should know

I'll finish off a couple more cups of cold coffee
Thanking Ms. Internet that the reader can't see me

The cold bites my face, the wind softly whines,
I'm standing in this place, needing your lips to warm mine,
my head starts to race, battling thoughts I've left behind,
soon I'm gone without a trace, lost in my own forehead's lines

The clouds, they are glowing-
a delicate blue,
it's funny how this beauty-
makes me think of you,
it's funny when I think about-
how I thought I was through,
then your blue eyes captured mine-
and my heart could feel anew

The cold, airless moon, a lone, single soul-
feels how I feel, back with the only friend I know-
heals how I heal, the craters slowly change in time,
but unlike me, I'm ugly, the moonlight is divine

The clouds, they are sinking-
down to mother earth,
they embrace me while I'm thinking-
of the reason for my birth,
giving me a cloak of night-
to wash away the sound-
of my own thought and what it wrought-
a maelstrom swirling 'round,
a flooding of emotion-
in which I'm sure to drown

But the moonlight, it brings me-
a small peace with myself-
a short cease fire in the war I deplore-
of me versus no one else,
a peace I haven't felt since you-
smiled for me all by yourself,
a feeling I haven't felt since you-
enlightened me with your touch,
and even though you don't love me-
I miss you very much...

Oh! The moonlight! The moonlight!
It arouses such a passion,
the will to live lingers on-
awaiting to take action,
waiting for my moonlit heart-
to take in your reaction,
waiting for the moonlight-
to cast its unearthly glow,
waiting for the moonlight,
the only friend it knows...

Now, I'll leave with this,
I'll say how much I love you-
with or without your kiss-
and the moon that sleeps above too,
because its dark, forlorn, and lonely kiss-
makes me feel closer to you,
and my only regret is simply this-
us being apart is all too true

You're mostly always on my mind-
the apple of my moonlit eye,
where my happier sad thoughts try-
to keep my soul from saying goodbye-
to this body, this life, the struggle and strife-
to cushion my mind, to shield from the knife-
stabbing at my heart, with their soft yet strong lies,
I gaze at the moon, breathe slowly and sigh,
the urge to say goodbye might rest but won't die

I wish I could see your moonlit face-
from this dark yet cozy place,
maybe if we could have a taste-

of love-

this life won't be a waste...

Oh, moonlight! Oh, moonlight!
Don't leave with the sun, stay with me and fight!
Why must we be done? Defeated 'til night
Leaving me with no one... will today be alright?
Leaving me...
with no one...
don't think the day'll be right...