I'm tired.
I don't want the false claims
Only for you to forget and go on
Because ******* you promised me
And I need you now
As I lie in bed
Crying to sleep,
How you told me you wouldn't
Be the cause to my pain
But here we are
And all I need,
Even as I lie here in the everlasting bottomless pit of melancholy
Is your arms.
Even though I want to hurt you so bad
Make you feel my pain...
I just want you to hold me.
Tell me it'll be alright.
That you've changed.

Guess something never change, huh?

They tried to tear you from my brain,
But my heart wouldn't let you go,
Although I may have forgotten your name,
Butterflies in me remember you so.

We’ve got a lot in common,
we share the same disease.
We’re thankful for our belongings,
though we fall down to our knees.

And the Israelites are coming,
they bring their funeral song,
a one thousand petalled lotus
is burned in the Gaza storm.

Oh, I don’t want to hurt you,
but you know that love is pain.
You find yourself in its absence,
just to lose it all again.

And still, I’ll come back for more,
like some ***-starved, pointless slave.
Fixate on you in the darkness,
and forget you in the day.

And I do not need this devotion,
I know not what it is for,
I waded through the ocean,
just to fall down at your door.

I gave myself to religion,
I gave myself to war,
I fought for all of the peace,
that I’d lost on your bedroom floor.

And I do not need this devotion,
'cause I know not what it is for,
I waded through the ocean,
just to fall down at your door.

And the soil swallowed me whole,
whilst I’ve been searching in the skies,
A motion of light in the treetops,
a love before the lies.

I do not need this emotion,
I do not need your pearls,
I’m looking for a brand new woman,
now I’m tired of spoiled little girls.

We’ve got a lot in common,
how we tend to impossible dreams.
The way we stand up for freedom,
the way we fall down to our knees.

The way we fall down to our knees.

You tell me to get a grip
but I have got nothing
to hold on to.

I am sorry sir,
we don't think there has been enough improvement.
It has been weeks since you wrote anything of note
and our ears on the ground tell us you are drinking again.

I wish you would try harder.
What? You don't want to hear about Lincoln again?
He ran a country through it all. You can't even make
your own bed. Why is that?

Your parents?
No. Come on now. You will have to do better than that.
Yes, you have told us about your cat. And your school.
There must be something more. Do you believe in G-d?

You're not sure?
That might be the problem. You are never sure of anything.
Neither North or South, East or West, a roof over your head
but an old mobile phone. I think you just need a title.

I have one lying around here somewhere.
But I don't think you will like it.

I am a man of simple pleasures
and complex desires

A toadstool is swelling
inside my limbic system.
Spores sweat amongst tissue cavities,
dining out on grey matter,
until they force me
to stay in bed through the day.

What a thing it would be.
Depression as a fungus.
A mildewed mind as damp sets in,
the trumpet player
with athletes foot,
casting out the air-borne blues.

Misfortunes follow one another
along straits of fate,
as if sadness were a colony itself.
I want to take a pill
to **** the mushroom
that plumes over my head.

You can only diagnose
through words and symbols,
only treat once you set down your pen
and hold the hand
of a patient lover,
of the savant drinking at the bar.

For now I will let air in
through the open window,
watch the dreamcatcher sway
and hang like a tarantula
over the stars and crescents,
spilling out over my bed.

When I close my eyes
I hear the ocean in distant traffic,
sounding as waves when rolling by the door.
I will drown in seawater
and hallucinate a scene
of happiness.

Of a place for a poet's retreat.

too much upkeep
all I dream of is sleep
these social standards
are temporary cancers
only dissipating
when I count sheep
days fleeting
without eating
still I'm always choking
on repeated scenes
only relying
on things that aid in dying
it is no way to live
being so set on ending
when I didn't even begin yet