I kept talking
but I couldn't
remember her
name.
how long has it been
since I last saw her?
she's a flower,
wilting in the rain.
I'll gather
the lust for life
she often craves,
stuff them in graves
so she can hide
while she waits
for the sun.

rotten
I am lost in thought
a better version of myself
fallen in the cotton
bought in to the game
the books in the flame
now only the memory remains.

I see you shifting in your seat,
getting comfortable?
I see you sounding out my name,
getting uneasy?
I'll sit across from you some day
and stop apologize for breaking.

I know there's more than enough material
and the sewing kit's been drawn out, so I'll
stop all of this repeating and return to ink,
no more cheating.

It's wrong when it's right, it's like numbers
held too tight, squeezing fractions of my might
when I love too much, I bite.

vegetarian by day,
carnivorous by night.

all the apples see me bleeding
with the ink between my teeth,
ask me which one I want to drop
and before answering, shake the tree
my strength is unknown and the branches they break
like a knot in a spine, or getting cut up
                                                                ­  and left behind.
I said I tried
and I tried,
not to cry
or to fake it.
I got lost in the crowd
got too loud,
then lost sound,
lost and found, not all was lost,
but the cost still hurt and struck
me down, like lightning in the eye,
he hadn't seen me die,
turn around
I'm still alive.

I can't believe after all this time
nothing has changed
the bed sinks the same way
my head knocks to the clocks
tick tock tick.. tock...
left, bent, and waiting
what's right?
my throws send tidal waves
my voice breaks bridges that lead across pathways
to my house, to my heart, to the ringing that's got
me singing, "food, food! glorious food!"
and asking, "so I'll see you at the show tonight?"
it's okay if you're afraid of these feelings
it's okay if you're shy of this light, 'cause I'm beaming
I've got a second chance to start believing
that maybe I'm here for a purpose
and not all these words are worthless.

we plant the seeds of our own destruction
"everything in moderation."

here I am in backlash station,
braiding my hair
with poison in my lungs,
on my breath,
in my stare.

my silver tongue has an alchemists tooth
a lung for a lung and the whole world's done
anti-smoke anti-drink anti-fry
diet coked, diet thinking, diet guy
yes, he's gonna die

bleeding through his finger tips
we touch lips, hips? say goodbye,
maybe take him home next time.
he's got me in a bind
stuck in his rhyme
he peeled me from the core
though I had a rind
but the fruit which I drink
is GMO such as he,
the fluoride in my sink.

a love poem made me think
a tag is such a drag
because a label isn't me,
a price could be
innocence
mystery
a held too close and you're history

he sent to me
late night called to see
if the aches from which I break have calmed down to be
more of a lesson than a test,
more of a sleep than a restlessness.

there's no one who should have to witness this...

"I'll be okay."
maybe I'll say it again...
"I'll be okay."

For once and forward because I want to,
a lot of people said I didn't have a choice but to
and I don't want to hurt any of you,
with the insanity of keeping things in
with the feelings that I simply suppressed
thought he made me happy and undressed
foolishly traded my tears for alcohol
sweet words for smoke, true love for a joke.

I've lost all I could lose
let him take all that I thought could be took,
and now I finally see what was to be had all along,
what was there all along...

you all were right and I was wrong.

I ran away, that's not okay,
but I'm back and here today.
I love you all, I love you most,
I wont push you away, so hold me close.

I'm breaking and aching, I'm shedding out tears,
I'm sorry for masking and mashing my fears.

I know I don't know and I wish to learn quick,
there's not that much time and there's no love in a ****,
excuse my bad language for I do not speak  French...

I'll stop with the jokes and go for what's true,
there's no more emptiness in the words "I love you".

there's a dark girl I know
so beautiful
can't help but want a handful,
can't seem to help but get a mouthful
of words
all sputtered up and un-thought,
mostly stuff I thought I forgot.

I tell her my issues, my problems, my dreams,
she doesn't give me pain
no she doesn't give me grief
but she's twisted my beliefs.
reminds me I'm sensitive by letting me relax
without emotional tax, gives me love without pointing out the facts.

she found me two feet on the ground
and shook me, took me to the skies.
I was proud to be around such a daring creature,
I am proud to have been bound in such a brilliant gaze.

love is in all places all faces all things
but there is no substitution to what her friendship brings.