I can't stomach the thought of you and her,

*t o g e t h e r

I am feeling very ******* nervous at this moment
Cold sweat. Twisting gut.
It seems I’ve worked myself into a rut
And now I’m freaking out.
My face is tighter than it ought to be
A good lobotomy would calm me down.
A local anaesthetic would suffice;
I’d usher in the ice,
And let a needle perforate my cranium.
My nerves would lie prostrate.
I would be quite devoid of love or hate.
I’d cease to stab at mortal ties;
Cease to believe immoral lies
(And then the ice, the numbing ice
Would quicken my demise.)

What little sunshine being recognised

Out of a storm flames approaching disorder

Building vast contradictions without impediment

Widespread in antiquity with alluring interpretations

Constituting mutilated transformations whose opposing

Lies stinking and fly swarmed, rotting at our feet

Beauty is everywhere,
if you choose to look closer,
viewing what you miss,
at first glance.

Just because in society’s mind,
her beauty is unconventional,
he’s a behemoth,
she’s a walking skeleton,
he’s a dwarf,
she’s a sky scraper,
does not give anyone the right,
to degrade or strip away,
the fact that they are,
Beautiful.

He wishes to star in a movie,
she desires to fiercely walk the runway,
he wants to dance upon the stage,
She dreams to play among the star athletes,
but society says they can’t.

“You’re awkward,
a freak,
four-eyes,
buck-tooth,
stupid,
too flamboyant,
you’re simply not good enough,
raise your white flag,
and surrender because you are inferior”,
society harshly states.

Society attempts to silence,
unique individuals,
who do not fit the mold.
of what is considered,
to be normal,
as if that aspect exists,
in our world.

Similarities are necessary,
yet differences,
whether subtle or extreme,
are the essential details,
engendering us,
to be more than enough.

The experiment is maliciously cold, dangerously cunning-
A wrong sort of rapture
An invitation made in amusement
People surround you like the frigid flames in a hyena’s eyes just before it pounces
The experiment is brutality, a completely psychological Auschwitz-
A nightmare down memory lane-
But whose memories are they?
The experiment (seems) to work by gas lighting and technology-
That’s all it needs- cigarettes and soup
But who’s at the watchtower?
I have no delusions of reprieve- despite what people tell me
They- the illusions, delusions, holograms of people reaching out in “love”
Your love is a weight, just like mine is to you
Yes, I bring sorrow to you, but out of this sorrow something was created
Something you can never know because it can’t be possessed-
Too many ideas and too much time…
Still searching for one thing- not love, but truth
Have a roast, lay it on me
Don’t hold back because you don’t want my blood on your hands
It’s already been spilled
You live with my faults and my dilemmas and my neurosis,
But I must live everyday in the body that houses these faults, dilemmas, neurosis.
Still they turn on their Piscean baths, expecting a scorpion not to drown-
A crematorium with no weapons-
Inanimate objects speak, but humans gurgle out white noise,
A poison formed first in the brain then saturated by the tongue
And all the demonic children….
I am that demonic child. I am that vat of toxic waste.
I am a liar, a sinner, a drunk, a madman, a beggar, a freak, a thief
My pain fascinates others as they tap on the fishbowl glass,
Making me shudder
Are these the people of God?
Am I a person of God?
Most likely neither
But how did it come to this?
And really, what would Jesus do?
Jesus probably wouldn’t live in America
And love isn’t enough
They crave conformity, obedience-
What a sick, twisted practice
The sacrifice of one for all
Don’t make any waves, but here’s an ocean