Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Paul Donnell Mar 2017
The night was washed out in a errie blue grey. The moon made the beat for me a bit less anxious.. This part of the city aint never been kind. Taking a long drag from a stale ciggarette i thought about the dective boss man introduced me too at the bar. A Robert Cobalt. A steely dispostion and eyes that cut through in a way that didnt make total sense. He told me about a  lead. Riches and adventure await if I'd just put aside some morals and go with it he said. Diamonds.. Always been attracted to the worthless things, theyre just rocks but I bet a fist full of em.would make any man feel like a god. The light turned green and I wondered what would make a man get all twisted up and go after such a thing. Turning a corner towards 8th street I looked out my passanger window and saw something not too out of the ordinary on this side, a man approaching a women, knife in hand and a gait that meant bussiness. I turned on my lights and told the sunnuvabitch to stop where he was, guess the man was desperate cause he ran full force towards the women, after her bag id guess. Reflex and training set in and i went through the motions, the whole time thinking theres no way i could be fast enough to stop this. What i sae next surprised the hell outta me. Calm as could be, right before the man got to her and right as i was stepping out of the car she threw an elbow right into the mans chest. He doubled over, caught of guard by the heavy blow. She grabbed the back of his head by his hair pulled him up straight and flat laid him out with a well placed blow to the jaw. Subsequenctially my jaw hit the floor. I walked towards her slowly, the threat neutralized. She stood calmly and lit her self a smoke. She told me her name was Tessa. Tessa rosiere. A privite invistagator. I guess i looked more shaken than she did as she offered me a ciggarette. I stood there for maybe a bit too long without saying anything and the man started to groan and stir. I asked what she was doing out here this late already knowing the answer. Following a lead she says.. Before i can ask more theres a bright flash a strange smell and a dull pain. I look down and my stomachs leaking blood. Cant remember much after that. No idea who had shot me but waking up in the hospital on the east end was surprise. Still alive i guess. The sterile scent of the room made me feel like.running and the sight of all the tubes sent my heart faster than it needed to be. Shot in gut. Either by tessa or by that ***.. Maybe even some one else who knows. Still alive though.. Oddly the tgought of diamons crept into my scattered brain. The idea seemed more than appealing now.  No more late beats in a bad part of town. No more getting shot,  no more having to work. Just a fist full of diamonds and the freedom.to do as i wanted. My last groggy thought as the flourecnest lights blurred was of Cobalt.. I'd find the *******. And see what he had to say
.sleep took me like a riptide.

It wasn't long after when I got out of the hospital. The doctor gave me all kinds of prescriptions but I knew the only medicine i needed was waiting for me in a smokey room full of tired souls. A double on the rocks. I walked into the run down pub and the smell of cigars and whiskey welcomed me like a hug from my father. Only not as warm. "Double on the rocks. Keep me comin til I leave." I said. Muddy Waters was painting the whole place blue. "That's not gonna help you heal, jewels.." A voice said behind me. I turned around and it was special agent Heller and her trainee Agent Ronen. They had sweet faces but you'd be a lucky man to not be on their bad side. Heller blew smoke in my face with a smile. I guess that's as close as I'll get to a "welcome back". We sat and talked for a while while Ronen looked at her phone. She wasn't into conversation much. Once we were all sure we had one too many, we were ready to call it a night until Ronen got a call. "****. Don't pack it in just yet." Heller scoffed "I'll be ****** if I'm gonna go wipe some rookies nose this late at night." Ronen looked at her boss sternly. "You're gonna wanna see with one. It's not rookie this time. Murphy Pendleton just kicked the door in on a **** lab on 92nd street". Pendleton. That crazy *******. Hearing his name ****** me off. "You guys can go handle that ******* on your own. I'm not..." "No. You're coming. I saw your badge and Gun. You might as well be on the clock Jewels. Let's get down there before he scares off the camera crews again. It's gonna be a long night." Heller said putting out her cigarette in my drink. She was right. No one ever wants to walk in on a crime scene if Pendleton is involved. Chief Cobalts been after that ******* badge for years. But ******* does he get the job done. Tip the bartender, grab the coats. Time to see what fresh hell was waiting for us. Before we left, I put Tom Waits on the jukebox...

I don't even hear the sirens anymore. We all got in Hellers squad car and headed to the crime scene. I see the lights flashing from the roof of the car. But the sirens might as well be the sound of a car passing or a telephone ringing. When you hear something everyday, it just fades away. Heller and Ronen sat up front and I was in the back. I had forgotten how cramped it was back there. It took me back to when I was a stupid kid. Back when I was afraid of those same lights and same sirens. Back when i still saw people passing by, not just potential criminals. We pulled up to the crime scene and the press was everywhere. The whole front of the building was taped off. "Well at least there aren't any bodies in the street this time. Looks like Pendleton could be getting soft on us." I saw Ronen let a smile slip across her face. I couldn't help but laugh. We all know Pendleton's rep. I guess you gotta have a dark sense of humor for this ****. One of the rookies I liked was holding the line. "Ventus. What are we looking at?" I asked while lighting up a cig. Ventus looked down at her feet. "It's not good. He really just......it's not good." She said in a tired low tone. Heller put a hand on her shoulder. "Go home Tera. We can handle this. Jewels. You go on ahead with Ronen." Heller said. We walked under the tape and towards the scene. The door to the small shop was handing off the hinges. Bullet holes in the glass. Blood on the floor. The red trail led us to the back room. One. Two. Three. Four. Four dead bodies. Blood on the walls. And in the cleaning supply closet on the back wall off this moldy dreary **** lab sat Pendleton on a over turned bucket. He still had his pistol in his hand. "Ronen. I'm gonna..." I started. "Psh. You don't gotta tell me twice." She said before exiting back to the front of the store. A shoe shop with a **** lab in the back. That's a new one. I started towards Pendleton. It was hardly a graceful entrance on account of having to dance around dead bodies. About 3 feet from Pendleton is where I noticed, the man wasn't shaking. He was just sitting. "Pendleton. What the **** are you doing? What happened here?" I barked. "Got a lead on this lab and came to investigate. As soon as they saw me, the pulled their guns. I didn't wanna get left out so I pulled mine. The 2 up front ran to the back. Caught the tall one in the shoulder. Reloaded and came back here. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom." He said. Calm and collected. "There's only 2 guns on the floor. The other two, why are they dead?" I asked. "**** Jewels. Maybe after I dropped the two with guns, the other 2 picked them up. Maybe I did what I had to. And maybe I'm not in the mood for all YOUR ****** QUESTIONS." He yelled looking up at me. His teeth showing like a mad dog. His gun was still in his hand. "Get your **** together Pendleton. This isn't the time or place for your ****. And put your ****** gun up. The cameras are right outside." I said quietly. Pendleton was a loose canon. And I made it known I hated his guts. But hey, you can't choose who you work with. "What's the matter with you? Normally you woulda left by now. Why are you sticking around for this one?" I asked looking around the room. Pendleton reached in his pocket and pulled something out. "I pulled the IDs on all these guys." He said handing me for drivers licenses. "Jacob Wrens, Joseph Brown, Tanner Wilcocks and David........Cobalt..." I read to myself. I darted my eyes at him. His face was dead. His eyes were grey. "Murphy.....are you telling me......one of these kids is the chiefs son?" I said slowly. He looked down at the floor, opened his mouth and said ".....was"
saving a story, a wee bit of mine mostly my friends.
Paul Donnell Mar 2017
Someone stitch bells onto my body.
So ya'll can hear me coming.
That..one..two..one..two
Those who live for loving
I know how you carry
That..one..two..one..two
If your heart looks like mine
A honeycomb home for lovers once known
How that pain in your chest starts to feel like ow~
How home is a person never once was a place
How ya suffer on but still bright with love on your face
and ya carry on
That..one..two..one..two..
If ya feet look like mine
Blistered up from that long walk
That..one..two..one..two
If ya tear skies into roadmaps
A sunrise is just somewhere new
That..one..two..one..two
Well I know how it is
How whiskey starts tasting like a best friend
How ya throw up the blues and wish for a quick end
How ya get up with blood and ice in your eyes
How ya look up and throw a bird to the sky
like *******
That..one..two..one..two.
Get on with it. Keep on keepin' on
Hold close; hold tight whats yours
even for a night
You gotta love the light
Cause around the next bend
The past tells you Darkness ahead
So hold tight.
Love what you got right now
Cause pretty soon
Its gonna be
that..one..two..one..two..
Paul Donnell Mar 2017
I left tomorrow yesterday
I saw myself in the door was open

Stella froze the east coast just as I made for leaving
I was burned by the same name and now shocked to slowing


Everyone has a right to their wrongs
You wanna say something but sometimes
Just let it lay.

The feelings of loneliness where words are all you have gripping your phone in your left hand because your right feels wrong like maybe the wall punch was not much like maybe the last lie was too much. The face you saw already a memory post op perfect colors and emory embroidered by the good times the truth gets stitched in behind.
Gingivitis is meet with ginger two part ***** cigarette than three more why take care if your spitting blood but it doesn't hurt why bother setting up the future when you already know its coming to a screeching halt what a ****** up romanticism Dorian Grey nothing left but play. Everything I ever tried I was good but at **** that see the world die young thats why I try only reason why I try anything. All steps to just drop it and take one.

I left yesterday to tomorrow

It ******* ***** when theres a brain buzz and its just words all fuzz no coherency no story just a flowing ******* leaking brain grey matter turned chromatic  in the sense of no sense color wheel ****** up no complimentary matches complimentary, complimentary? It's free with your purchase, italic smooth bold this was told points in a parfait  I feel better feeling this way oh hey coffee house drama non sense non sense non sense make sense
big mouth super sayan saying nothing important just words of calloused over used broken down 92' classic

I left tomorrow to yesterday.

pompaloose I'm feeling loose like dancing with this pre-made noose I'm hanging there I'm hanging there my tongue is hanging on the stagnated air. Stagnated? Deer horns air horns air burns skin goes shiver here take a sliver, its complimentary
Love is the air, air is the lungs everything that comes with that just like bugs come with the hugs, put on it repeat let the moment steep try to understand exactly what you can, your not very smart surgery on art
pull it all apart now ya ****** it up made it ugly with the cuts.
Hang on. Back to love.
Love is in the air, air is the lungs, the brain is starved of oxygen you start to speak in tongues.
Nothings making sense your running for the fence you get over there she is as you start to **** your pants
Metaphorically

This is all just tired sleepy randomly generated subconscious whispering ******* words that flow without thought little time for a litter of words don't ***** the pooch redrink the *****

Why write craft crack no point

buzzy fuzzy brain that just won't slow down making up making progress feels like a fire thats running down my spine. I'm still standing in line! Could walk out the door at any moment gotta go but I don't why not dont know or maybe I do so hey subconscious whats going on man talk to me get the words out your in control aren't  you why do you only whisper sub concise not so accurate or trusting get out get out get up get out.

Ah hell.

guess its over.
This one anyways.
Paul Donnell Feb 2017
I remember fondly,
breathing fire with you,
your soul whispered softly
resonant red tunes.
Your depths had me drowning,
in deep briny blues.
Salt burned my eyes,
I was lost in you.

You told me you had to go.
You had your bait, you got your kicks.
The line was cut loose, the tide ripped me back
Smashed on the rocks,
hooks still in my back.

You deep sea monster,
I was entranced by your light,
I missed your teeth.

You siren, you sea witch,
You lovecraftian horror.

You got what you needed,
The gulls got the remains.

Yet here now I stand,
Stripped of my flesh.
Bones moved by the wind
My ribcage still with breath.
So I built me a tower
Fishbones and stench

To stand on your shore,
White as the moon
To stand on your shore
To watch over you
Because despite all of this.

I'm still in love with you.
Paul Donnell Dec 2016
Heavy foot steps and lead laeden words.
Trying to create sense of this emergancy of birds.
Predators hiding lurking in the laminate
sealed in with a kiss the layers are feeling permanant.
Clear obsidion mixed with volcanic ash.
Crushing down on me, im gasping for breath.
Shaking like a mountain just before the eruption
trying to remove myself from this plastic corruption.
Daisies die in feilds..
Deers burn as the air horns call out the catastrophy.

You all need to run from me.

Silence in my self, I am no longer seeking
i need to break free and sing just as birds sing.
Calling out the warning; shaking up the evergreens.
its all interconnected.
Hyperspatail turbulance im screaming in my bed
im worried
im afraid
im trying
its working
i think that the plastic might just be burning
the toxic
the posion
its all gassing off from me
dont breath me
i feel like its something.


I could just be werid. Relaxing in turbines, i think im just trying and poems lead to calm minds.

Make sense of me. Make sense of you.
And you.
And you.
Im caought up in the subterfuge.  Capracioisly grapsing
for what im not sure.

Cattawompus canyons are cut into my heart. Im so confused information on piecharts
, the values dont match
the legend is misleading.
God seems to be warrenting this healing.
Kicking in the door
creating a dizzy storm.
Cyclopeon rage
stolen from days of yore..

Its time to let go.
Its time to grow.

Just understand me . just for a breif moment. I am harmless. I am less. I am lost. I need rest..

A bunch more words too honest too painful. I write poems to unleash all that is shameful.

This hurts.

This is needed.

I am bleeding.

Just so I am.

Just living.

Just leaving.

Just kidding.

Just bidding.

Betting.
On when its all ganna explode.
On when the subroutiunes will need a defrag machine when the bios gets corrupted when the system wears down when i will stand in the light looking like a ******* clown.
Because i trusted.

Why is this so hard?
I am 24 years old and cant drive a mother ******* car.
Fear is a disease that i can not squah on my own
a whole battallion of star ships need to warp into my home and disrupt the radio frequencies that speak to me
in dreams the nightmares unending the face grips and rending my cheek bones are tensing my teeth are condensing milkbones and raw tones

This excitment inside me
burns out the live feed
darkness envolopes mailed sent by trumpet
these echos of my thoughts
repeat the words taought
like liar and loser you dumb ******* ****** acomplish not nothing but your something is ******* just so god ****** worthless they all wait for your face to turn to a frowning grimice of you drowning you floundering ****** you sociatial ****** you cautious cat crawling as dogs get the tasties of life while your wasting your time just complainging this echo echo chamber needs to be ******* obliterated. A star dust deconstruction and rebuilding of the most primitive functions.

Take me from my own head.
I made my bed.
Id lie in it. But. Its made of my own meat and guts.

Friends
.. I need your ******* help.

Just.
Be you. Perfect.

I trust you. Despite what these echos say bouncing in my brain.

Just.

This is too much.

Just.

I think im just werid..

Just.

Please dont run.
Paul Donnell Dec 2016
I feel so mac and cheesy
Smokin ciggarettes and wheezy
I forget that im a werido
I **** the flow.
Well
Oh come on
yes i know
that i disurpt everybodies flow
walk in a room talk a bit
and try to find a place to sit
Awkward and shaking all my leaves stirring up the honey bees i feel my tounge is being stung
That was an awkward hug..
****
But give me a skateboard and a hill ill bounce to music and just chill
Wave my arms i ride the waves
Gravity pullin my way
the wind it flows in funny ways
I feel at peace.
Hit the bottom silde and stop
Awkward stuff it catches up.
Paul Donnell Dec 2016
My mind is a dumb dolomancer dancing along hypotenuse avoiding the 90 cause the long way around has neato little sideshows distracting from the problem that A plus B might equal C but ya need the square.  A nice tight fit uniform to make out that right angle. I am imaginary numbers.
Next page