So tell me why you never loved us?
Is it because we speak the truth?
To be honest I'm not even sure why we're doing this anymore
You're lying
Stop trying
I know you don't care
Look at the big picture and step back
Are you happy?
Or do you feel numb?
Stop trying to hide them
All the memories on your face
Not gonna say I don't miss them
Because for the most part I do
Thats the hardest thing of all
I miss the old you
I wish you loved us as much as we have loved you

So tell me now why did you ever love us?

Everybody seems to forget what ive sacrificed.
Things,
Money,
even feelings.
Its a sad cruel world.

We live in a world where
people lie over petty things,
people don't help unless they get something out of it, steal, cheat, immaturity is off the wall with this young generation and what's the most disheartening thing of all is no one gives a ****.
But I do.

Let's get high
why not said the dark angel
Don't cry just fill it with this.
Ignore it.
**** it.
Just do it.
Let's go home.
I'm lost.
Where's did the love in this world go?
I'm in pain
I'll just smile
Nod my head say "yeah its been a while"
"It's in gods hands" says the old man.
Why isn't god carrying me?
Let's share a needle
It's a secret that I got hep C.
Let's ****.
What's love? When you got to get another hit.
You lost me at hello
but I'll stare until you say goodbye.
My mind runs
Ive been awake for days.
I'll stay in bed for hours.
I'll miss you,
even though I shouldn't.
*******,
you know who you are.
Yeah I said it and I'll say it again
*******!

Lay off the cookies and cupcakes tay-tay.

Just incase people dont know
God dont pick favorites.
You just got more luck obviously than the man you sit next to.

I miss the old days.
Me and you against the world.

You fit in my palm
your so meek.
Its sad I could crush you
without even trying.
Your suppose to be strong.
Your suppose to be a listener.
Your suppose to be a fighter.
But most importantly your suppose to be there for me.
Where are you?
Where have you gone?
Are you in that deep dark hole once again?
Are you struggling?
Will you come back this time?
I have my doubts.
This women thats taken over your body
is not you.
You are not my mother.
You've become my enemy.

Sometimes I wish I was as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside.

Sometimes when I dream
I wish I could live there
and never leave
reality bites.

When I look in the mirror
I dont see me
I see her.
The me I loved is gone and she is here
to stay.

Happiness is a far away place.
Its a whole world away.
I wish you and me could go on a rocket
and never look back.
But we dont have enough gas.

Lookin around I see
three things.
junkies,
******,
and thief's.
Is my life always going to be like this?
Filled with lies and greed,
Its hard to change my atmosphere
when its hard to breath.

The story isn't done yet my dear.
I'm not closing the book.

Let's fly
far far away,
and never look back.

There aren't any changes,
besides the fact I wish I felt
alive.
I'm breathing,
yet I already feel dead.
There aren't no changes
cause I keep going back to the same ****.
Day after day I'm sitting and waiting for the change but all that comes is the dwell
in the night.
Well honey,
there aren't no changes.

I'm not a churchy girl.
I wish I could be.
Wake up every Sunday morning,
brush my hair get dressed,
and go to the house of god.
Maybe then he would be there
for me more.
But I believe,
worshipping god doesn't have to be
in a designated place at a designated time.
So no I won't be one of those preachers wife's.
But its fine by me,
because at the end of the day
god holds me in his arms
and walks me through the sand.
I am a child of God.
I believe he loves all and watches.
So mean what you say before you comment about
"Churchy people".

I made a mistake,
but that's okay we all do.
We're only human.

She's down to earth,
what am I?

One thing after another
Can't be simple,
or positive.
Why?
Why are you like that?
I'm so tired of it.
You say you want what's best for me,
yet your not helping.

You can only party so much,
before it becomes old.
It's time to grow the hell up dude.
Be a man,
Or  a women.
Not everything can be fun and games.

Im just temporarily sick.
I have to remember that.
In order to push through what I'm going through I must be
strong.
I must not be a coward and cry,
I must hold my head high
and not hang it down low.
This is temporary,
it's not a **** commitment.
But its still not the point.

I have a label across my forehead
that everyone knows about,
"She's disabled"
"She's not capable"
"She can't work"
It's not fair.
Once again I'm being punished for some thing I never intended to happen.
**** all of you and your
LABELS.
I'll be whoever the hell I want to be.

When life knocks us down,
we tend to worry a lot.
We feel stuck.
We have not a clue what to do.
What we should do is look up,
maybe we will find some help there.
Who knows.

Love is over rated and so complicated.
Why do I bother with it?
Crazy as it is I keep giving it a chance when I know how it'll end.
That's bad on my part.

Misery loves company.
You attract what you want,
but keep it away from me.

It feels good to be sober
ladies and gentlemen.
But most importantly it feels good
to notice that I'm loved.
That I'm finally happy.
To know I have you.
That god has my back.
It feels good to live.
To breath.
To be free.
It feels good to no longer depend.
To just be good old fashioned me.

All the bad boys.
All the fake thugs.
All the bad drugs.
All the chances.
All the hopes.
All the dreams.
All the classes.
All the glasses.
All the nights alone.
All the papers.
All the nights wishing.
All the nights wanting.
All the times tossing and turning.
All the beauty.
It's seemed to peek out more lately.
All the love.
The Miami boy.
All the boxes.
All the cars.
All the chances.
All the changes.
Ive seen the sun.
All the sunsets.
All the day dreams.
All the times I wish you could've been mine.
All the relapses.
All the triggers.
All the mistakes.
But this is me.

October 8th the worse day.
I'm counting down the minutes.
I'm counting down the hours.
Reminding myself of the worse day of my life.
It's the anniversary.
It's hard to move on and just let go.
People tell me I'm torchuring myself,
when in reality I'm just facing the real world.
Whats happened to me does not define me.
But what I have gone through I know has changed me.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
I have all these hopes and dreams.
I'm scared you won't be apart of them.
Or she will **** up.
Or dad will end up going crazy, once more.
All over a date.
A date that'll remain in my life forever.
A date I wish to let go but know I can never,
because I've learned and I've lost. This day is a day where the chapter is new and the print is bold. Not meak.

A is a man,
a good friend of mine.
But can I tell you a secret?
I think he's lost his mind.
From the way he talks to his narcissistic act.
A is an Australian man.
A is an ******* and a quick thinker.
A likes my pictures.
A is my friend.
I love him.
Quite a lot actually.
It's silly.
It is what it is I guess.
I hope he comes back to me.
Time will tell. Won't it?

Time goes by and I sit in the chair
every day waiting for you to walk through
the door.
The hardest goodbye's are the goodbye's left unsaid.
I know them all too well.
But I cope.

Daddy goes for walks,
he bring backs rocks.
Names them.
Puts them in a little box,
and keeps them for safe keeping.
Daddy doesn't know
how sad this makes me.
My daddy is crazy.
Daddy's weird.
Daddys this and that.
But I love him.

I'll be nancy,
you'll be sid.
What a tragedy itll be in the end.

Beneath the dead leaves laid a
branch waiting for its chance
to be seen.

I'll be the old lady with a bunch of grand babies.
I'll be the old lady who wants a young man because in all honesty that's how my mother is. Mother like daughter.
I'll be the old lady the younger children spread rumors about.
I'll laugh at em.
I'll be the old lady who becomes senile and yells at the nurse saying where are my cigs?
Theyll probably make me quit.
But when I think about all this ****,
it makes me smile.
Life sounds more exhilarating then it does now.

Stuck between
being happy
and being sad.
Not knowing which way to go,
being stuck in the middle,
is the worse feeling of them all.

I love you
I hate you
I miss you
but I don't.
But maybe I do.
But I'm tired of living in the past.
Its time to move on.
To let go.
No more nightmares about you.
No more dreams about us.
Because its done.
Its faded.
Its over.
Its gone.
For the first time I'm tranquil about that.

I'll never have a love.
Like you.
Your a rare breed.
Too hard to find.
It was nice.
Now its gone.
Now I see.
How cruel love is,
towards me.

We stick together.
Me and you like
butter and bread,
pencil and paper,
dresses with flats.
Your my best friend.
I love you so.

Ive struggled with who I am,
for a good minute.
The beautiful intelligent friend of mine,
has lost her mind.
I might be going home soon.
I'm not addicted I swear.
I just miss them.
Well maybe I miss you too.
Who knows.
Who cares.
These are just blabs
that happen in the middle of the night.

Days go by with out your voice,
its official that I've said goodbye.
I can't love you.
No more olive juice for you.
I deserve better,
than you.
Good bye my dear.
Good bye my friend.
Good bye my trust.
Good bye my dear love,
I hope to never see you again.

I twirl into you,
grab your hand,
you let it go.
Guess you don't want to dance.

Dragging the jacket behind me,
I'm covering up my tracks now.
Good bye cruel town.
I hope to never come back.

She has long blonde hair.
Blue eyes like the sea.
A smile worth killing over.
But she's nothing like me.
Beauty fades.
Souls stay pure.
So go ahead be with your little *****.

I can't breathe anymore,
at first I blamed it on the cigs.
I don't think its that anymore.
I miss the sound of your voice in the middle of the night.
Truthfully you made me breathe.
I needed you.
But **** it I'll light another one.
Till I cant take it anymore.

Let's have an adventure,
come down from those clouds boy.
Look me in the eyes.
Love me with all your might.
Let's explore each others souls tonight.
Let me hold your dark heart in my hand and make it pure again.
Make me feel beautiful.
Make me feel young.
Laying in an empty bed at night alone is consuming my mind.
Soothe it with your voice,
my love.

I've grown impatient.
Due to my situation.
I can't sleep.
I have to convince myself to eat.
I cover myself in warrior paint,
in order to face the day.
Smack a fake smile on my face,
and pray no one see behind my mask
I made.

I wish I could leave this town.
Its cursed.
I'm stuck and have been for years.
Too many drugs.
Too many bad people.
I'm sick of being here.

I've decided to let you go.
To move on from you.
To just forget about you.
I've promised myself to quit thinking about you.
Or even talking about you.
One of the worse feelings is regret.
I'm filled with that because of you.
You made me be a bad person.
By telling me it was okay.
Your a liar.
A manipulator.
I'm glad your gone.
Your not a man.
Your a **** boy.