Chameleon

Chameleon Jan 2021

Thief

I am just a chapter in the lives of selfish men.
One that always comes to an end because
he took too much.
I run out, end up on empty..
I ran out of words, out of gas.

And no one is left to fill me back up.

Chameleon Dec 2020

Bar pizza

I watched the bubbles in my Miller lite
rise to the top, and listened to the conversations around me.
Country music blaring from the speakers.
I miss your bar stool being next to mine.
I miss my drinking buddy, my best friend.
I came here this afternoon because I realized I can’t find anyone who’s even close to you,
so I’ll go do the things we used to to do together, alone.
Being alone is better than feeling alone with people.

Chameleon Dec 2020

Nowhere

I’ve always struggled with feeling like I don’t belong anywhere.
That I’m taking up space in a room;
I’m only there because of the person I’m with, nobody cares about my presence.
Everyone feels like a stranger to me just a bit.
When I’m low I don’t have anyone to bring me up because nobody knows how to.
The third wheel, tagalong who always shows up late and leaves early.

#nobody #alone

Chameleon Nov 2020

After we got off the phone

Why did I love u so much
I’ve asked myself this before
It’s difficult to explain but I know how I felt
being next to you.
It was the safety in knowing that nothing bad would happen as long as you were there.
It’s something out of my control so much that the only thing it could be is love.
Through all the darkness I saw the brightest light,
It must have been a glimpse of heaven.

Chameleon Oct 2020

I’m a ***** up

It would be just like me
to **** up a good thing.
I don’t know when one drink becomes too many
until I’m talking too loud
and my head is over the toilet.
I can’t read cues from people
because I don’t trust my intuition anymore,
it’s lied to me before.
I have trouble believing what he says,
or if he even likes me at all so I spiral until
I’m mad at him for nothing.
I worry that if I don’t have *** with him before I leave that he’ll just **** someone else.
I’m too soft, I hate the cold so I went and sat in the car.
What if I’m difficult?
I talk too much about my ex and my past of putting **** up my nose.
He doesn’t wanna hear it.
I’m sure it’s old already.
Yeah someone treated me badly,
and I was a drug addict.
Get over it, it’s not good dinner conversation.
It is just like me to **** up a good thing.

Chameleon Oct 2020

It doesn’t stop

Don’t fall in love,
like real true LOVE unless you’re okay
with knowing you will love them
long after they’ve left you.
7 months later and a sweet song can still
bring me to tears
so I accept it and look at the photos
of you I would take when you didn’t notice.
The long distance smiles and silly faces that used to make my weeks.
I would now and forever come running back.
I would buy any plane ticket, who cares about corona, I would drive until my car died on the side of the interstate just to get to you.
I’ll always be yours even if I’m someone else’s.

Chameleon Oct 2020

Long after

I’ll still love you long after
we’re gone.
When we’re just two names forgotten
with time.
Yours will stay wherever mine goes.
Wherever that is.
I’ll find you again.

#front #page #love #death