It would be just like me
to **** up a good thing.
I don’t know when one drink becomes too many
until I’m talking too loud
and my head is over the toilet.
I can’t read cues from people
because I don’t trust my intuition anymore,
it’s lied to me before.
I have trouble believing what he says,
or if he even likes me at all so I spiral until
I’m mad at him for nothing.
I worry that if I don’t have *** with him before I leave that he’ll just **** someone else.  
I’m too soft, I hate the cold so I went and sat in the car.
What if I’m difficult?
I talk too much about my ex and my past of putting **** up my nose.
He doesn’t wanna hear it.
I’m sure it’s old already.
Yeah someone treated me badly,
and I was a drug addict.
Get over it, it’s not good dinner conversation.
It is just like me to **** up a good thing.

Don’t fall in love,
like real true LOVE unless you’re okay
with knowing you will love them
long after they’ve left you.
7 months later and a sweet song can still
bring me to tears
so I accept it and look at the photos
of you I would take when you didn’t notice.
The long distance smiles and silly faces that used to make my weeks.
I would now and forever come running back.
I would buy any plane ticket, who cares about corona, I would drive until my car died on the side of the interstate just to get to you.
I’ll always be yours even if I’m someone else’s.