see this love I have? It's for you
come take it--just come take
I want to give it as a gift
it's love I want to make

we can make it any way you like
we'll fix it up just right
we can heat it up or chill it out
or wind it up so tight

we can hold it in or let it go
or chase it 'round and 'round
we can top it off or cut it short
or listen to its sound

we can open our eyes up in the dark
and wait for it to come
we can fall asleep, then wake
and make enough to save us some

some for later, unless now is fine
it's all come down to you
it's my way of making up
for everything I've put you though

Could I touch you for a moment
--Could I please just touch you?
"No."
But I want to feel your sorrow
"I already told you. Go."

I can't leave you here without me
I can't ever find the way
To remember that you want me gone,
But forget the pain of what you say

"You're not helping make this better
You can't sense the way I feel
'Cause right now, as much as ever
You can never see what's real"

What's real is I'll always love you
What's true is all that I've said
What you didn't seem to notice
Is that I'll love you 'til I'm dead

"Well, then love me far away"
So you still think this is right?
"Love me for the time you had me."
I have treasured every night

Let me make up every light of day
That you were not my sun
Show me all the things you loved in me
I'll recreate every one

I'm sorry for any single glance
That was not into your eyes
For that blink that made me miss the trace
Of troubles in disguise

"Oh, what's the use, you pitiful soul?
I thought you'd seen it start
Once another stole my breath away,
I took from you my heart."

Let's play today
A game of keep-away
You try to keep me
But i'll run away

I'm over here, hiding
So come on and find me
I want you to search
'til you're right up behind me

And I think I'm still covered
But you're right at my back
Then I want you to scare me
Like I'm under attack

Oh, sometimes it just feels
So awfully wild
So terribly good
Just to play like a child

So I'll run for my life
But I won't have a chance!
You're too faster-than-me
You'll catch up with a prance

Then you'll hold me so tight
So I can't get away
And I'll act like I'll leave
But you know that I'll stay

You just win every time
And it's really no fair!
I won't play anymore!
I'll just sit down and stare

Right off into nothing
And ignore what you say
But you know how I tease
When we play keep-away

So we fume at each other
(it's just part of the game)
I can say something naughty
Just to put you to shame!

But I won't really do it
You're my only best friend
I won't make that threat
And risk causing the end

Then you'll tickle me wacky
Just to force on that smile
You can't stand when I'm mad
But you know it only lasts a while

I'll fall and roll like a madman
'Cause laughing hard hurts!
Then I'll die like a possum
Just lay down in the dirt

You'll lay down right beside me
As we make up every cloud
We recuperate now
We will stop being loud

That was when we were children
Now you're half my life story
And with hearts ever-childish
We'll  live on in this glory

We'll still play keep away
Just as long as we can
'Cause that spark's in your eye
And you just grabbed my hand

He was sure she was elated
That joy welled up from her deep
After all that he'd fabricated
Bedtime stories before sleep

Little gestures just to keep her
Just to keep her up and coming
Taunting with his stingy morsels
So to make her blood keep running

Here and there he'd throw a bone
To his pricey-perfumed dog
Take a moment twice a month,
Toss a pearl to his hog

And the ruffled dog did good tricks
With no prospect of reward
For if just to please her best friend, man
To get a pat-down from her lord

See that kindled, foolborn spirit
Felt her lover loved her best
She rejected other outcomes
She ignored each of all the rest

And he let his pet keep twirling
Let her go jumping through rings
Though never really feeling proud of them
He was tickled by these things

So he sat upon his highness
As she mingled round his lap
And she felt so very special
To be his favorite place to nap

He liked to tell her bedtime stories
And leave out her favorite parts
So she could fill them in within her mind
While he left her in the dark

There’s something wrong, for I see it now
Burn brightly in my brain,
A simple spark and a flash of light
That becomes a roaring flame,
It happens just about every night
As I rest my weary head,
And burns my eyes from the insides, when
I’m lying still in bed.

The doctors say it’s a trick of light
At the corner of my eyes,
Perhaps it’s only a lightning flash
That catches, by surprise,
But there’s no light in my darkened room
And the blinds are pulled down tight,
It comes so suddenly, then it goes
Like a spark of some insight.

Could it be something that’s been and gone
Though I’ve blacked the memory out,
Something terrible, that went wrong
And scared me, without doubt?
Could it be something that’s still to come
Said the gypsy in the hall,
While crossing her palm with silver, as
She peered in her crystal ball.

‘It could be a warning from the gods,
It could be a sign of fate,
Some sort of a premonition that
You attended to, too late,
The crystal ball has a fiery glow
In its depths, that I never saw,
And many’s the time I’ve gazed in it
Not seeing such glow before.’

I never would worry Christabel
With my tale of the nightly flame,
I wouldn’t have wanted her to think
There was something wrong with my brain,
So she went and ordered her wedding dress
A vision in silk and lace,
And yards and yards of a satin trail
With net all over her face.

We took our vows in the Baptist church
She’d attended since a child,
Keeping her mother happy, though
In fact, she was meek and mild,
Then later at the reception we
Arrived at the old church hall,
And Christabel was a vision as
She stood by the entrance wall.

There’s no way I could foresee it
Though I later thought that I should,
A guest came in with a cigarette,
I’d have stopped him if I could,
He flicked the **** and a single spark
Flew onto my darling's train,
The silk and satin went up at once
And Christabel was aflame.

The flames went up like a giant torch
And engulfed the yards of net,
There wasn’t time for a single word
If there was, then I forget,
She stood there blackened, her skin peeled off
And she swayed against the wall,
Then slowly toppled to earth before
I reached, to stay her fall.

Now every night there’s a single spark
And a sudden flash of light,
As flames are dancing behind my eyes
In that awful nightmare sight,
The tears that roll down my cheeks are hot
As if roasted in the fire,
They might as well, for I dwell in hell
Since I lost my one desire.

David Lewis Paget

the falling of leaves
from the family trees
and the changing of wayward tides

the height above seas
or two hundred degrees
or the place where the devil hides

atmospherics of pressure
set not for good measure
could never offset what I've done

for I swore it my strongest
I held it the longest
that forever I'd love just this one

holding my hands to detain
his smiling eyes entertain
tufty hair that is perfect for rumpling

summer nights out in rain
like symphonic refrain
little thoughts that he stops me from crumpling

just our walk in the park
just might stave off the dark
of the presence of all things unlovely

'cause his embrace is a lark
each soft kiss leaves a mark
and each day this perpetuates doubly

so the spring that I've kept
turns winter to concept
though outside be they blizzards of cold

I love his without, his within
the mystique of his skin
and his soul that with mine will grow old

I’ve followed you out in the yard,
And then when you mounted the stair,
I thought I was watching an angel,
But you didn’t know I was there.
You moved with such elegant grace,
That I couldn’t help but stare,
You seemed so above and beyond me,
That all that I felt was despair.

We’d pass in the pit of the stairwell,
Your latté, you held in a cup,
When I’d see you coming toward me,
I’d hope, but you’d never look up.
My heart would rebound in my ribcage,
I’d turn and I’d stare at your back,
I wondered how I could approach you
And worked on a plan of attack.

Perhaps I could trip, and I’d stumble,
And push you right into the wall,
Then clutch at you, ever so humble,
And tell you that I was appalled.
At least I could get you to see me,
You couldn’t ignore me again,
But when it came down to it, clearly,
An angel’s beyond mortal men.

The love that I felt was like heartburn,
It plagued all my nights and my days,
I’d torture myself with each notion,
And plotted in various ways,
I constantly thought of your beauty,
And hardened myself to the task,
‘I wondered,’ I said, ‘ if you knew me?’
You sighed, ‘I thought you’d never ask.’

David Lewis Paget

To the opera house the happy youths went
Two pretties, each strolled with a handsome gent
Four friends with every good intent
Of having a grand old time

Fair Marjorie dressed in sapphire blue
Her Alfred was wearing the same color, too
While Charles and Francine matched a crimson-y hue
The ambiance was feeling sublime

The lights of the theater were bright, but romantic
A large chandelier straight above made the ladies feel frantic
Violins started tuning, like strange waves of Atlantic
The grandeur of curtains opened, as the stage was undressed

But what humored the bunch was the old lady in peplum skirt
Two seats over from Alfred with birds embroidered on her shirt
She was peculiar, came alone and looked hardly alert
As the actors took position, she yawned, unimpressed

The old lady's antics continued for over an hour
She snorted at the singing, with boisterous power
By intermission her nose-blowing had turned each love scene sour
Our four were straining, containing their laughter

And during the intermission everyone got up, bought a drink
But the old lady just sat there, like she wanted to think
Beginning to stroke the dark fur of her wraparound mink
She nodded, falling asleep shortly after

Charles saw it first--"the old girl's dozed right off!"
Alfred chuckled and Francine, beginning to scoff
Proposed they prank the lady, but Marjorie coughed
Saying, "shame on you, wicked child!"

So they all sat back down and awaited the second unveiling
Two seats over from Alfred, the gray one's slumber unfailing
Act two and act three ended, the hero prevailing
At the final bow, the audience was wild

Everyone clapped and cheered loudly, some whistled or threw roses
Everyone but the one in the third seat over, under all the guests noses
Who slept though each applause and the actor's last poses
The theater was clearing out quickly

Four waited--Alfred, Marjorie, Charles and Francine
To see if she would wake and depart from the scene
The last five in the balcony, the gray one serene
The fun was over and they decided to help her get up

When Charles tapped her shoulder, they all finally knew
How tonight's show had smothered a moment so true
The old lady was found dead in the presence of those few
Still in the same seat, they never helped her get up

It was strange when it started. I thought I might be sick. I wasn't sure, though. I assumed that I either was, indeed, going to become dreadfully sick, or that with a clip of time, I would be fine and I wouldn't get sick at all--I wouldn't even remember ever feeling like getting sick, because I would be fine.

It's strange how when one is well, she feels so strong and forgets the feeling of being ill and assumes that it must have been a small thing last time she was truly ill; that she could easily handle it again. But then, with the smallest twinge of intestinal unsettlement, she remembers in full and would almost rather die than be ill again. Sometimes it's good to forget.
Bump!
"Hold it together, you're almost there", I told myself. "It's ok."
Sometimes it's good to lie to yourself. You become your own child, and tell yourself to cover your eyes and all the bad things won't be able to hurt you--the monsters won't be able to see you, because you can't see them.
Children are much better than us.

Bump...ba-bump!
Yuck. I needed something now. But, just as I was fully prepared to *****, it was fading...as quickly as it came. Yes, it was gone now, and nothing was going to keep me from feeling positively elated (except, perhaps, the descent, but forget that for now).
It was surely a wonder to sit on a seat, which was mounted in this small cabin, which was surrounded on all sided by absolutely nothing, and supported from below by the same--save some vague equations of space that permitted its reality.
"If this is a reality, I'd rather not dream. My dreaming could get quite out of hand after this."
Goodbye, city! Goodbye mountain faces, with the sharp jawline of a movie star! So long! What is that, now? I can't make it out. Never mind. Dust. Particles of dusty sky sweeping up around us into clouds. Cough. Cough. Like it hasn't been swept in years. Loomy fogs of two or three varying thicknesses. And then the light.

A light so strong it seemed like death, for sure. The look of all that light made me cringe. I thought I might melt like the wicked witch on The Wizard of Oz--the wicked witch I was. Ha-ha. The once dusty, sky was now a majestic and glowy quilt. It looked pearlized--like if you landed on it, you would just slide smoothly up and down the billowy bumps and around the polished curves. We could be over an ocean, for all I knew. Why was I so lazy to not investigate this before the trip? It would have been fantastic to know I was over some great sea, deep with crawlies and creepies with fins and tails and gills and hangies. Swishies and swooshies, faster than land types, that only could run or climb.

Yikes forget that. It would have been better to know that I was not over the ocean. Now, due to my uninformedness, I was merely left to ponder the terror of falling into the sea, in the event of a crash. These cushions on the seat before us, or so the little booklet told, could be used as flotation devices. I wondered how close we would have to be before we could jump out. I imagined exiting the aircraft into all this light, down, down, falling through the pearlized quilt, through the dusty billows, looking down at a vast sea a mile below, holding onto my cushion from the seat that had been in front of me, bracing myself. The sea would look uniform on the surface, but through the surface, one could make out divisions. Separate depths, maybe, or different mixtures of water. Shades of blue, blue-green, and green as the layers beneath the initial surface.

Back to reality. It was getting dark out. Night. Wait--no. No way. It couldn't possibly be night already. I talked to myself again, "are we supposed to travel into another time zone, or something? But it should be still morning and we've only been in flight about an hour..."
Were there storms above the clouds? I don't know. This...darkness...hmm..

But then I saw it. A shooting star. I only saw it for a flash of a millisecond--not only because it was travelling with such hideous speed and momentum, but also because in that instant, I was blinded. permanently.  I felt my way toward the cockpit. All the passengers besides me and one other man seemed to be sleeping. I stumbled on, using those reflective upraised strips that mark the hallway to guide my feet. I couldn't see a thing. This blindness prevented me from really accomplishing anything in this circumstance, but I had to get to the captain.

"Captain! Captain! Are you awake? What's going on? Where are we?"
It is now that I notice that the captain had been dead in the cockpit for some time. There was no co-pilot. I double-checked for a pulse. Nope. My assumption is that we had managed to fly into space, with nothing above or below. I felt for the breast of the captain's coat and shook him violently. Then, I began to weep.