It was when she cameback to talk ..
More beautiful ..
More confident ..
With more light inside than before ..
I've just found myself starting from the beginning or as we called it "The end" ..
Im falling in love again with my princess ..
Im falling in love again with every single small and beautiful detail about her ..
Im falling in love again without thinking ..
Her light is in the middle ..
I tried to run away from it ..
But the truth is that i run around it ..
In a closed circle ..
Without rules ..
And with no exit ..
Again , again and again ..

Your heart is still beating ..

Your words are still the same ..

The way you laugh didn’t change ..

The way you get confused ..

The way you walk and talk ..

Air is still getting pumped through your lungs ..

Blood is still running through your veins ..

You still have sense ..

You still can see and hear ..

Food and water are keeping you alive ..

But still ,

**You're dead to me

At one of my cold nights , I was holding my phone..
 
Resting on our bed alone and cold ..
 
Hearing a song about missin my lost part ..
 
YOU BABY ..
 
Writing a poem about how long has it been since the last time we have talked ..
 
 
SUDDENLY ..
 
I was shocked , You Are Calling !!
 
It's your number , it's your name ..
 
Oh my god what can i do ?
 
Just I answered . ''hey
 
She said '' Hey baby
 
I couldn't say anything .
 
I said ''how are you
 
She said "I'm daying without you , i need you darling really ( and with a weak voice )’’ I'm cold without you , i really miss you ..
i know about what i did and how much i hurt you .. but i swear i love you . please forgive me and come back to me .. I'm  nothing without you
 
 
I said '' But .. I ....
 
 
She said '' don't say anything please .. just think and always remember how much i love you and try to forgive and back i need you now more than anytime before , i love you ..
 
And she ended the call ..
 
 
A tear left it’s sea in my eyes .
 
A Broken Heart is beating again .
 
A confused brain .
 
Don’t know what to do .
 
I can’t leave you .
 
How much i was waiting for a call like this ..
 
Cold nights and bad days ..
 
I couldn’t forget you by all the ways ..
 
How much i missed your voice  ..
 
How much i missed your touch ..
 
How much and how much and how much ..
 
How much i miss seeing myself is fine and how much i miss drinking our love's wine ..
 
 
SUDDENLY .. In a Minute !
 
 
I found myself still in my cold night ,  holding my phone..
 
Resting on our bed alone and cold ..
 
Hearing a song about missin my lost part ..
 
YOU BABY ..
 
Lost in my poem’s lines about how long has it been since the last time we have talked ..
 
............................................................­.................................................................­........................................
 
What happened ! i don’t understand anything !!
 
I opened my phone's log , where’s your number ! there’s nothing ..
 
 
I slept !
 
I slept when I was holding my phone..
 
Resting on our bed alone and cold ..
 
Hearing a song about missing my lost part ..
 
YOU BABY ..
 
Writin a poem about how long has it been since the last time we have talked ..
 
 
 
I dreamed .
 
I dreamed when She was Callin ..
 
It’s her number , it’s her name ..
 
 
Then i found
 
Rivers of tears ..
 
More of fears ..
 
It was one of my cold nights
 
It was the coldest ..
 
Silent and cold ..
 
As i returned to my empty bed to hold my phone..
 
Resting on our bed alone and cold ..
 
Hearing a song about missing my lost part ..
 
YOU BABY ..
 
Writing a poem about how long has it been since the last time we have talked ..
 
 
Will She Call !?!?!?
 
But it was her voice and her way .. It was her words and her say ..
 
Was it a message ?
 
So what was it !
 
It was strange ..
 
It was a dream ..
 
It was a minute ..
 
 
maybe minute can change more , maybe minute can open the closed door ..
 
 
Why all what i wanted to see and feel just in a dream ..
 
 
and why all what i dreamed was like a water and now it's a steam ..
 
Why I'm in my place , all of my dreams just i can see it in the sky
 
Why I'm still here , can’t fly ..
 
Why and why and why ..
 
Maybe it was just a dream ..

But it made me have something i missed ..
 
 
It’s your soul ..

Here , there and everywhere ..

And the most special thing about being great is that you're not just good.

Guess What ..

There are some people at a dinner table in Peru don't know anything about you, your problems and even your existence.

Today is different ..

Today I can't say ..

Happy birthday ..

Today i don't have this right ..

As you know , I can only write ..

I've just remembered our past ..

The moments that you decided to be the last ..


So fast ..


But today isn't like those days ..

And this year isn't like those years ..

I'm here alone without you ..

A new life I've begun ..

A new life without your sun ..

But it's still her birthday ..

And all the best wishes I've to say ..

In a friendly way ..

It doesn't matter where my words will stay ..

In her heart or faraway ..

But it's still what I've to say ..


Happy birthday ..

You know, I can feel the fear that you carry around and I wish there was ... something I could do to help you ..

You know , I can feel the way you want me so much .. as much as i want you ..

Do you know how much does it hurt to see you afraid when i have nothing left to make you feel safe ?

Tell me that's not my fault again and again and I'll nod my head like the doll I should be .. I will smile the way you want me to .. I will close your eyes to never make you see what may hurts .. I will hold your hand to make you never hesitate .. I will hug you so tight , whispering that everything will be okay when it's not .. I'll give you everything i've ever got ..
And when there's nothing left inside to be given , don't stare at my eyes and make me feel that i'm not enough to you ..

Because i know ..

And finally you will have no other option but to loathe me ..

It feels like there's no earth to stand on.

It's sad how the things go like this today ..
I've thought about it hundered times ..
The words that should be said ..
Before reaching this pointless point ..
Time won't always heal your pain ..
Sometimes , the pain will always haunt you ..
Listen to my unspoken words ..
Hear my unheared scream ..
Stare at my eyes and you'll find the answer ..
It's sad how the things go like this today ..
This pain inside your chest , i feel it ..
This pain that lead you to carziness ..
This craziness that i can handle ..
It's me , It's your home where you're always safe ..
I will be there away and you'll replace me hundered times ..
Until you realise that no one can handle you but me ..
Not because you're hard to handle but because it's me , it's your home where you're always safe ..
I will be there away and you'll comeback ..
Until then , i will be in another place where i didn't use to be in ..

I will be

In the corner of your eyes

And you'll always look at me

*stealthily

Stop talking to me like you need me
cause I know that the only thing you truly want is me being stuck in you while you live your life without me .

I can start and i can't finish.

He's better and that's why he always gets his answers first .. or maybe not

What can I do now ..

I've lost it all ..

Too late ..

Beside a closed gate ..

You've gone before I tell you ..

How much is it hard without you ..

And how much I need you ..

You've gone before listening to my reasons ..

Before knowing the answers of your questions ..

Finally I'm the only loser ..

You left me alone ..

I wish I could meet you ..

And say all what should be said ..

I wish I could listen to you ..

If I have only one more day ..

I would have more to say ..

I would tell you how much I miss you since you've been away ..

I wish I could delay ..

The time of death ..

Finally I'm the only loser ..

You left me alone ..

The pain I can't hide ..

The sorrows I can't slide ..

I wish you could hear my say ..

I wish you could be here today ..

To hold you in my arms ..

To forgive all your mistakes ..

To have another chance ..

To thank you for all you've done ..

Someday , After life and after people ..

May I would be able to see you again ..

You better run , I was here to make you fall only to not catch you in the end ..

"That’s the down side of falling in love with me - I never know what I want and will blame you for my indecisiveness."

I pretended to feel the same way and i can never call you mine ..
I lied to your eyes ..

You see, in those times, when they used to smile at me and they were exactly the same eyes that used to look at me like I was your favourite person ..
I'll remember the look in your eyes, the way you struggled to form a sentence ..

I shouldn't be making excuses, I should have remembered that you don't do that anymore.

Now you're okay ..
Now you're away ..
I was going to do nothing but poison everything you once thought you loved

I wonder if my God is listening to me right now
I wonder if he listens to the whole prayers 
I wonder why did he give me a brain that can't handle the truth .. 
A brain that is lost in the darkness .. 
A brain doesn't really know what's the point .. 
A brain knows the equation but doesn't know the answer .. 
All the roads lead to death .. 
And the more i know the more i feel bad ..
I feel lost .. 
And if i dont deserve the answer ..
Why do i deserve the question ?

If A loves B
B loves C
C loves D
And D loves A

Maybe they don't understand and they're always confused but they all know what does it exactly mean when you're strong with the one who loves you and weak with the one you love ..

And they'll always find an excuse when there is not ..

Yesterday she did her best to avoid his defects and to see his beauty.
Today she's doing her best to avoid his beauty and to see his defects.

A great love .. 
 
 
A wonderful marriage .. 
 
 
Everything was perfect ..
I hold you in my arms ..
You rest there peacefully ..
Silently kissing my neck ..
Whispering you love me ..
 
 
My heart was your garden ..
 
 
And my body was your world .. 
 
 
My eyes were your home ..
 
 
And my words were your poem ..
 
 
My hug is where you stay ..
 
 
And my pulse is what you always breath..
 
 
 
But today I'm not there ..
 
 
And I miss you so much dear ..
 
 
I will come ..
 
 
Dead people are alive ..
 
 
And I will call your name ..
 
 
From heaven , you will hear ..
 
 
That i am still alive ..
My heart still beats for you ..
I said we would last forever strong ..
Yet i am there in your heart everlong ..
 
 
I remember the running tear ..
The fear of losing me ..
The fear of being alone ..
 
 
I remember ..
I saw you ..
I could feel you ..
 
When I left this world ..
 
It was when you heard my last say ..
 
It was when you lost your way ..
 
It was when my hands were frozen .. 
 
And my heart was giving you the last pulse of love .. 
 
 
Now I just wish to come one moment ..
 
To know how you live today without me ..
 
And who could save you .. 
 
To see you living and smile for just awhile ..
 
With my unseen soul ..
 
With my unseen eyes ..
 
With my unseen heart ..
 
But I know that you'll see me ..
 
You'll see me someday ..
 
I'd be there to comfort you ..
 
And hold you in my arms ..
 
I will be young again ..
 
And breathe for my loves sake ..
 
 
Oh i hope my wishes were true ..
God says its not ..
But he has sent me to earth ..
For a view ..
For a glance ..
Just one chance ..
 
 
From heaven I'm coming ..
 
To the place where I lived ..
 
The world seems the same ..
 
I remember this world ..
 
The winds took me to my home ..
 
And I'm full of feelings ..
 
 
 
The home is still the same ..
 
And tears began to fill my eyes ..
 
This home was my world ..
 
But where's my name ..
 
Where are my pictures ..
 
There's a new picture there ..
 
I get closer to it to know what's this ??
 
My wife in her white dress ..
 
And another man is holding my princess ..
 
 
Her eyes were so happy ..
 
And her smile meant a lot ..
 
And i couldn't believe ..
 
Was it my eyes or the reality
 
 
I was replaced ..
Was my love less than my life ..
Was my worth only till the time i survived ..
Was i a saving angel for you ..
Or just an angel you once knew ..
 
 
Tears of hate fill my eyes ..
 
Blood poison pain fill my heart .. 
 
A loud scream went unheard ..
 
Then i stared at your smile ..
 
With my crying eyes ..
 
All i ever wanted is seeing you okay ..
 
I don't know why this feeling of jealousy is taking over me ..
 
I have died, i still cant believe that my heart doesn't beat ..
 
How could i hold you inside my heart that is pale cold ..
 
How could you survive with my love strong but frozen ..
 
As i move inside to my room ..
The colour has changed ..
From the brightest red it has become blue ..
Are you feeling the same way too?
 
 
Here's my cupboard, does he wear my coat?
Oh, there is nothing but new clothes ..
And yours too. Do you remember this black dress i gifted you?
Do you still miss me? Do i come in your mind and stay?
Or maybe just pass away?
 
 
I wish i never came here ..
I wish i never saw my home ..
because its no more mine ..
its yours and his ..
 
 
Goodbye my lover , Goodbye today ..
 
 
As i returned to where i stay ..
 
 
Faraway ...
 
As you rested peacefully in his arms ..
 
I'll ..
 
Rest In Peace ..

Her soul has visited me at night ..
To ask me if I still remember ..

Her words and her love ..
Her hug and her touch ..

Her soul has visited me at night ..
To ask me if I still care ..

About her life and her smile ..
About her heart and her eyes ..

Her soul has visited me at night ..
To ask me if I still think ..

About her problems and her feelings ..
About her looks and her words ..

Her soul has visited me at night ..
To ask me if I could understand ..

What she couldn't explain and What she meant ..
What she tried to do and what she didn't ..

Her soul has visited me at night ..
To ask me if I miss ..

Her days and her moments ..
Her voice and her smile ..

Her soul has visited me at night ..
And I've a lot of whys ..

Her soul has visited me at night ..
And she always tries ..

Her soul visits me but she don't ..
Her soul cares about me but she don't ..

Tell her why she didn't come ..
Tell her I'm sad ..
Tell her I'm mad ..
Has no one told her he's not breathing ..
Has no one told her he has lost his way and all paths lead to her ..


Remind her of the days we spent ..
Remind her of the messages we sent ..
Remind her of the words we said ..
Remind her of the things we did ..
Maybe she forgot ..
Maybe she has lost what we had got ..
Maybe she needs someone to tell her ..
You're her soul , tell her ..

Tell her why she didn't come ..
Tell her I'm sad ..
Tell her I'm mad ..
Has no one told her he's not breathing ..
Has no one told her he has lost his way and all paths lead to her ..


Tell her that I've never forgotten ..
Any moment ..
Any day ..
Any word ..

Remind her of the one who had saved her when he couldn't at least be able to save himself ..

Do you know exactly what's harder than hiding the pain deep inside?

Guess what ..

It's when you scream out loud and look around to find that nobody already heard you.

Yes i'm conscious ..
Yes she's there ..
Laying her back on the car ..
Looking at the phone ..
She didnt change ..
Beautiful as i used to see her ..
Thought many times before going towards her ..
Suddenly im beside her ..
Without even knowing what happened or how i did that ..
She was surprised ..
Her eyes were happy too ..
That shake hand
Was like loving my hands
It was strong like asking for help ..
I just wanted to keep holding this hand ..
Nothing can help me to say how much i do miss this skin and this touch ..
She had to leave ..
She did it again ..
More stronger ..
Asking for more help ..
What's supposed to happen after this is what i really don't know ..
Her touch was enough ..
And nothing could be fixed ..
I will just enjoy this dose until having another ..
Up until then , I'm fine .

Both of them stared at the bottle and then looked at each other deeply in the eye.

-What do you think? Do you want to drink?
=Im thinking about something special.
-Tell me
=I promise to share this bottle with you when we both reach 70
-And what if we didn't?
=We wont.

Years passed ..

Year after year ..

Waiting with fear ..

Beside a closed door ..

On a cold floor ..

But won't fight more ..

Today I can tell you that we're the same ..

Today I can tell you that I can forget what you day forgot ..

Leave what you day left ..

Break what you day broke ..

Today I can tell you that you're not my princess anymore ..

Today is the time to break that door ..

The chances are forbidden ..

And noway to forgive ..

Or give ..

Any pulse of love ..

Nothing left inside ..

Nothing to hide ..

This is my last say ..

Believe me , The end is today ..

The words have been drained from this pencil ..

The pencil that started the story ..

Is the same pencil that wrote

The End .

Life gave me her heart and it took it back.
Life let me suffer.
Life goes on.
Then i've got the one who fixed everything to start without suffering.
A new real love.
Life is beautiful.
And today life is giving me what it took.
Now i've to choose.
My brain died and what im sure about is only one thing.
God is laughing at me now.

Don’t stare at me ..

I swear i can revenge ..

Don’t stare at my words ..

Really I can revenge ..

Don’t talk to me like this ..

Don’t talk about me like this ..

Don’t use this way ..

The killer was only in need for a gun ..

It’s simple to **** ..

It’s simple to hurt ..

Don’t act like a killer ..

Because i’ll never be your victim ..

Revenge ?

No need for revenge , i will just sit back and wait ..

Calm down babe , i still didn't think about revenge ..

Once i read ''Those who hurt you will eventually ***** up themselves ''

And if i'm lucky ..

**God will let me watch

I never thought my angel would go away ..
I was lost for words did not know what to say ..
My shout went unheard ..
It's hard to look around and find the world doesn't give a **** to your pain like you don't exist ..
It didnt stop ..
The sun , the moon and the stars act like nothing is happened ..
Every single thing inside you is dead and the universe still acts like nothing is happened ..
You've lost it all and the universe still acts like nothing is happened ..
The heaven didnt change its colour for my loneliness ..
The stars didnt get dark for my broken heart ..
And the sun didnt share with me the hardest night ..
I set her free and she left ..

But everytime we meet makes it much harder and the universe still acts like nothing is happened

And then there's no good way to end things
Cause it's ending. Y'know?

She sees me when i really dont exist.

Im gonna tell god everything.