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ollie Aug 2019
i am one of my own
what has been decided for me
and yet what i cannot be
if only because i cannot be it right

becoming a scavenger,
i pick apart what remains
from the carcass of femininity
clawing and ripping and tearing
and taking from gender
whatever i desire
for what has gender done for me?
aside from putting on a collar
and controlling my every move
deciding what i do
and how and when and why i do it

stealing what i can
and turning it upside down
looking starlit and airy
while still solid with rage
and being oh so tender with her
and protective from the rest
raccoon eyes and evening gowns
leather boots and lace socks
i havent been on here for a while but im back to post more gay poetry because im a big **** and my dearest bought me minecraft
ollie Dec 2018
i need to cut my hair
dye it pink and start anew
its time for a change
and these locks keep me locked away
weighed down by a person im not
and held inside a body i do not belong to

i have to talk
lips sewn shut for so long
i dont remember how to speak
slowly im learning
how to order fast food
without breaking down

i want to get better
were it easy i might have a shot
but that guns turned on me
and pierced my heart
over and over
and im patching the wounds
but with every bandage i place
another gets ripped off
its sad week stan mitski
ollie Oct 2018
last online: 2 years ago
clicking away from your name
nostalgia holding me close,
as if i could ever forget

last online: 4 years ago
missing how it was
when we were off
laughing in a world of our own

last online: 6 minutes ago
its so different now
business has taken over
and im healing
but i still remember all those times when we were
i miss my old internet friends. reality is trying to help me, and im thankful, but i want things to be easy like they used to be
ollie Aug 2018
"the moon is beautiful tonight, isnt it?"

reflections of a city softly grazing the water
lapping at the docks
causing the ***** to hurry home

ice cream melts in its cup
nearly forgotten
as the salty breeze
threads its hands through our hair

minnows swim in a growing puddle
reeds dance as the seagulls laugh
i can never forget the smile etched on your face

the sun has gone to sleep
the stars tell their stories in the sky
the street lamps flicker
and i cant help but agree
this is about dairy queen but cherry garcia is the best kind of ben and jerrys
ollie Aug 2018
ai
sometimes im nothing
i am vaguely person-shaped static
all but a blur lying in bed

sometimes everything is hazy
and im there, but not
walking on autopilot

sometimes its not me
im talking and laughing
but i can never see or hear

sometimes im awake
and im living and breathing
but god, i wish i wasnt
oof
ollie Aug 2018
i wish i could be closer to you
i wish i could hold you
tangle my hands through your hair
its been growing quick since you cut it

it looked cute short

i imagine you here with me
more often than i'd admit
maybe i'm just too lonely
maybe you're just too nice

it hasn't even been that long
since i last saw you
a week or two
maybe three
the days start to blur
when they're all the same

i'm glad we keep in touch
i'm glad you've been friends with me this long
it's almost selfish to wish
that we could ever be more

it gets tough
when you run out of clovers
and shooting stars
and dandelion puffs
since i wish so often
to be closer to you
yeehaw im gay
ollie Aug 2018
a bluejay recently passed away
outside on my front lawn
i tried to help him best I could
but now he is long gone

i have a pool of tadpoles
sitting right out back
the tiny little froglets
making me an insomniac

a new cat showed up last week
with a short shiny black coat
along with his appearance
my mother left a note

"please do not feed him, darling
for he is but a stray
and you've taken in three new cats
already yesterday!"
i found a nest of baby bunnies the other day and nearly cried
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