Imagine: a perfect life
I have that right now.

Allow me to explain:
I’ve fallen hopelessly in love,
*and I continue to plummet every second

beautiful and soft,
dangerous and sharp.
it really depends on how cruel
the world chooses to be.

Ironic how the fire of passion and love can fill your eyes, deep blue like the ocean. It amazes me that your dark, gorgeous eyes still light up when they meet mine, nothing but love. I love how concerned they can be when I think I’ve hurt you and you want to show me it isn’t the truth.

**my favorite is when I catch them staring at me

They were all right,
about us.

I love you.

a storm over a navy sea
of peach roses.
the waves roll, discomfort.
in between them, blue sparks.
    little lightning bolts.

darling darling oh so divine
a pretty boy, there isn’t time
time enough to tell a tale
to whisper a story, to set a spell.

say it quick, say it fast
it should determine if I’ll be back.
so darling, oh darling so dear,
whisper me things I want to hear.

I don’t know whether to be relieved
or upset that you don’t act differently
after we’ve had our nightly conversations.

I won’t have a date,
it’ll be too late,
a happy smile I’ll fake,
right on my face,
he will go with her,
she will go with him,
everyone is coupled,
and right here I am.

how can you make me so happy, but I’m still so sad? certainly there’s got to be an explanation.

I wasted my time drunk on him,

and I could’ve been wasted on you.

deep in the night, when reality is out of my sight, ((though its blurred anyway)), I see you. You’re there. Through the haze wondering of sweet things and pretty days. No, you don’t see me, but I can see you. Your eyes, a beautiful night sky with stars made of dew. I watch carefully from a far not wanting to ***** you away, and I swear I could wonder about you all day. You’re a beautiful creature too far to touch, but maybe again I’m asking too much. I can see your sadness, yes it’s there, and there’s nothing I can do but kind of just stare. You’re beautiful baby, darling, oh dear, I just wish you knew I were here.

i better stop dreaming about you


they're so vivid, the dreams.

Let our love for the Lord become greater!
Let our hope arise!!!
Let our faith be ever so true!
Let our questions grow!
Let our thirst for the Word be an unquenchable one!

Let our hope arise!!
Let our love be strong!

and after a game of waiting I’m finally, once and for all, 100% over you

I’m counting, let me be
1.2.3.
He just looked at me.
1.2.3.
I’m dying can’t you see?
1.2.3.
Pardon my three O.C.D.
1.2.3.

Several thirds of a whole
these are threes that I stole.

I love you.









That is all.

He’ll take her to the dance
why do i try?
Why do I smile,
when he makes me want to cry?
She’s the perfect princess,
he’s the perfect king,
I guess I need to redress,
and learn how to clean.

I’m just now getting my life together,
don’t expect me to piece yours together too.

from my mouth you’ll never hear
that me loving you was a mistake,
because for me, it truly never was.

you can't call me a chicken for not jumping off of the cliff when you've never seen the edge.

Happiness is brewing
in the pits of my despair,
how could I ever miss you,
if you were never there?

you remind me of fields of strawberries
and I love you so much.
But with strawberry fields
come clusters of sadness,
good thing there's a weird
happiness to balance that out.

God I love you so much.
          *help me

the breeze is cold
the leaves are gold
with a little help,
my story is being told.

but my feelings are stupid
I can't understand them at all.
so that's when I curse the leaves,
with them, I fall

there's nothing like a chilled breeze
that simply swifts through the leaves.
there's nothing like the colors above
that are falling with me, I'm falling in love.

I love it when you whisper because it means that what ever you say, is just for me.

And now everything's beautiful
with the lovely golden kiss of autumn.

it's really hilarious that
I spend my time trying to
make you smile when you're sad.
yet all you've done,
is ignore me and
that makes me feel bad.
you're welcome though I guess,
because my heart is stupid
and it loves you nonetheless.

it's really funny how I literally made you smile when you were really sad, and you still go to her when she was the one who made it all bad. she hurt you, yet "I love her so much." what. excuse me? I'm really confused?
when I said:
"It's really hard to get rid of your feelings for someone."
and you replied with,
"yeah especially the person of your dreams"
I knew that you never cared, because I was talking to you about you and her, but also you and myself.

I could talk to you all night,
about yourself, in my heart,
and you'd never even know.

I've tried to rid you of my heart, my thoughts, my life.
Erased,
but there's no magic left in my pencil because of too many other mistakes.

Silly me to think of hope,
I'd be less confused if
my head were filled with dope.

I can finally stop.
I can stop hoping,
giggling,
wishing,
thinking,
and dreaming
about a sure to be nightmare.
**but it's all over now

Well hello Abigail!
You look gorgeous, it's true.
Your smile and laugh really fits you.
Even though you fret or stress about your hair being undone,
it doesn't take away from you, always a load of fun.
I really love you, like a lot.
You make me happy even if I'm not.

I'm tired of hiding behind a wall,
holding my head high,
not letting my chin fall.

I'm sick of putting on a show,
making them smile and laugh,
maybe one day they'll know.

Head held high,
and thoughts held low,
maybe I'll cry, maybe you'll know.

I hate that I'm truly so sad,
but I'm the friend that's forced to
make a laugh because the others have it 'bad.'

it turns out I actually love my dog
a bit more than most people.

I allow my thoughts to wander,
to a heaven scenario,
kisses, hugs, and genuine smiles.

*this is what warms me,
Lord knows I need the warmth
in this fall air

And I will never not apologize
for loving you
because honey I sure do.

I will never not apologize
or hate myself through
countless cries.
I wish that life were good
and that I was locked away
in a quiet neighborhood.
I want to be strong for those I love
but I'm afraid that even if it's 'ok'
**i will never be ok enough.

right now I have mixed emotions.
Allow me, I'll tell you why.
I have the most homework,
because absent was I.
But I also have him
what a wonderful thing
seeing his smile,
a bright sort of thing.

(but his blue eyes,
they make my heart sing)

And the worst little bit,
a sadness no doubt,
is that I am an ugly,
so with him I'm without.

its weird that you continue
to give my heart and stomach
butterflies after all of these years
of getting to know you.